Written by: daver austin


Who thinks they understand cats,
Why they behave as they do?
I don’t know, how ‘bout you?

Why my sly, fickle feline
Demands attention Tuesday
Then, Wednesday, walks away?

Why, most cats are such gourmets.
You think he’ll only like fish,
Always pukes beef in his dish.

So, you splurge, buy fancy feast –
Finest fish and shrimp delight.
That’s right. Puss can’t stand the sight.

Well? He must prefer chicken.
I serve both dark meat and white.
Oh, no! Please, cat, take a bite.

How about expensive toys –
A wind-up mouse, fishing line
You guessed it – a waste of time.

The pretty girl at Petsmart
Says cats like to hideaway,
A box where they’ll love to stray

So, I buy a nice retreat
He sniffs it, then walks away,
Squats on the news, plain as day

I watch as they teach dogs tricks,
Simplest of which is sit!
Puss will do the opposite.

Then that awful accident,
The abominable spray – 
Mine does it every day.

Hey, you who understand cats!
If you’re hip, give me your name.
I’m about to go insane!