PLEASE Don't Hit Me When You Read This Vienna

Written by: Tim Ryerson

I find it disgusting the way that you snore
That snort when you laugh I truly abhor
So tired of you burping up food after lunch
When you nag I get fever and chilly goose-bumps
I HATE that you gossip, it's a shameful disgrace
(I'm scared of that mole on the side of your face)
You took all my money and now I'm flat broke
and the way that you dress? Good LORD what a joke!
So I'm kicking you out! Go pack up your stuff!
(If this is a nightmare, PLEASE wake me up)

Sometimes I stay up just to watch as you sleep
The way that you laugh sweeps me clean off my feet
Love those cute little hiccups after you dine
and your kind suggestions keep my ego in line
You listen politely when someone else speaks
(I ADORE that beauty mark there on your cheek)
The investments you made were wise and worthwhile
and your unique outfits show a grand sense of style
If you ever leave me, I'll kick and I'll scream
What else can I say? You're this old boy's dream

For Vienna's 'Let me have it then kiss my petunia' contest