The Benefits Of Being Single

Written by: Simon Henderson

A horrible smell pervades the air,
It really is quite freaky,
It's time for my monthly underwear change,
Perhaps I should change it to weekly.

Or is weekly too much, I think it might be,
Perhaps I should do it fortnightly,
Because using those chemicals that might harm the earth
Isn't something that I take that lightly.

As I peel off my boxers they crackle and creak,
You could cut through the smell with a knife,
I'm single, I know it's hard to believe,
But I just don't want that trouble and strife.