How to Haiku

Written by: Ruben O.

I tried to find a consolation
                to my frustration

saying to myself that it's not a question of whether it's right or wrong, maybe it's just different. But this constant-reiteration is like a surgical interruption of the nerve tracts of my shrinking brain; once again I make a prefrontal leucotomy to myself  just to avoid the cognizance of my reprehensible ignorance or my negligence

It's neither traditional or contemporary 
nor proper or improper
it's just the prosaic practicality
of a pro-preposterous absurdity

But who am I trying to fool using pretentious and alliterated words? 
How difficult is it to accept that I can't write a haiku?

I know it's unfair to quote out of context but when the master Issa said 
"[...] try to forget all of the rules," he was wrong
I tried it before and I could only get unrhymed footles

The king of fruit, nah!
No metaphors until I could understand what "absolute or deep metaphor" means
To be or not to be a watermelon
No personification allowed
Watermelons rhymes with fellons, nah! 
Those Watermelons...nah! No Caps 
Oops! The kigo! The season word! 
Easy: watermelons are the most popular summertime fruit!
The Kireji, my "cutting word" is typical of an IQ above 140: a knife!
My yuxtaposition: another geniality! 
The watermelons are...are you ready?
The watermelons are yuxtaposed in a "pile" 
side by side one upon the other, showing their differences
5,7,5: 17 syllables! 3 unrhymed lines without a title! I did it! With my own hands!
What a joy!

those watermelons cost ten cents more than a knife the fruit prices rise
I captured the precise moment in which "I" realized that the watermelons cost 10 cents more than a knife! Aha! An instance of apprehending the true nature of fruit prices to raise awareness and a recognition of its essence, which, in this case, is the watermelon scent. Also, as the way the economy is going, everybody can relate to it: a universal haiku! Original focus/experience/clear images/perfect! If somebody has the audacity to haikuticize ME, I can still play the card up in my sleeve:Creativity! Creativity in arts: my undeniable power of unrestricted use to determine...whatever! to transcend traditional ideas, rules, concepts, and whatever! to create new forms: an 8-lines-Nonet, an unrhymed footle, a 17 syllables-Sonnet (Rubenserian), or whatever! A Whaikutever! I think I've created a new form... I(Me)am so talented!