IN THIS ACT OF PAIN, I TAKE MY VENGENCE
Beyond the illusion of skin and polite talk a shadow dwells within me, whispering unto me my deepest ugly thoughts, my secret sins, my foul intentions and slowly devouring the goodness in me.
it draws its filth from my chosen path smearing it with deceit.
The stains of the fear of having to lose an anticipated love
loathing those you remember with hate and those whose care for you is bare,
an anger driven by a hunger to care, to feel, to live.
This pain that I alone understand and cherish is master
luring me with an apparition of a budding flower, a beautiful maiden women
who comes to me in full consciousness drawing me to a secluded place
where I am vulnerable with need for company and she feeds from this - my loneliness.
With her electrifying touch, her infectious smile and the maze of her luminous eyes
I beg her to enslave me. Her voice seducing my mysterious soul into a colourful trance of mellowing.
she lived for us, died for us and in death refused to part
in eternity seeking our unison,
in her existing even though beyond this realm
she erupts the fires of a longing an enfolding passion that quickly rises and towers down and over everything I have ever believed was.
From a dull world so familiar to me of grey, black and white she leads me on to a vast land of dreams that fills me with new emotions.
Colours freshly bloom before my eyes and all this for my heart to take warmth.
Now let me alone with this pain I am forever an addict to.
The stab of it stinging my dull being filling me with a high that thrills and fills my vacant space with a loud haunting scream.
Oh! I bleed this poem from my very soul, as she whispers unto me.
My hope in her goodness that shuns out the darkness that seeks to possess my soul.