Rime of the Ridiculous Mariner

Written by: Caribbean SeaWolf

" Rime of the Ridiculous Mariner " {warbled to the Merry Tune: Jingle Bells!} Jingle Bells & Flyin' Hulls All sheets in so tight~ Yikes Ahoy! There's the ploy! Sail right through this night! Run downwind beat to weather fall off as ye wish~ Set your mizzen up yer main tops'ls catch all flyin' fish! All's well in yer cockleshell if'n yer head be screwed on right~ Ne'er fear horizon's near as ye sail as though in flight! Some shall say if they may yer off yer rocker tonight~ They them are whot's ne'er far from bein' sunk from sight! So this I say to them that may now hold your hands aloft! Fer if ye think a sieve will sink yer mind is goin' soft~ A hole is but what a troll doth see when all is nightly dark~ For they who may shall thusly say to all a merry Hark! Plug yer doubts & ne'er pout for all shall soon be fine~ Break the cask & lift the flask let's drink up all this wine! Sail the ship & give the slip to all that's dark & dull~ Rock & roll fill the bowl let's sail this mighty hull! To those who think this rime doth stink.. damn I say to ye~ Try yerself those wines top shelf & stand so we all may see! Fer if yer not all outta pot & ain't fell in the drink~ I'll pipe right down without a frown & really begin to think! The smoke will show all such folk whot's made me mind so daft~ Fer always have me wishes come of that whot's all abaft! One day soon shall then I swoon as knowledge comes to me~ That all me life I've had me wife around me as the sea! Now this then is reason 'tis me sits alone in bed~ Fer last wench was had me heart we fell so soon apart! She caught me far below the keel & spoutin' off me spiel~ I tried me best but failed the test got caught showin' off me eel! Now I sail tied to the rail for all mermaids to see~ He who did dare to bid for just a moment's glee! All whot was dear & near such truly did'st I wish~ But Har! 'Twas sure underrr that keel she surely was a dish! Avast! Ye say! 'Tis way too much all this rime of such~ So shall I agree as with my sea fer I've had me quite a touch! I'll leave ye now & point me bow into a raging wave~ Fer now ye know I'm all a'blow & naught but sea do crave! Jingle Bells & Flyin' Hulls All sheets in so tight~ Yikes Ahoy! There's the ploy! I'll sail right through this night! SeaWolf ©