Gospel of my Soul part I

Written by: Amber Huether

I have found myself to be in deep. 
way over my head so i can't see the sunshine. 
or rather, there is too much sunshine 
and i am blinded by its beauty. 

Its beauty is profound, intense, so real. 
it encompasses my entire being, 
my entire persona, 
and my entire soul. 

it controls when i blink. when i eat. 
it controls when i laugh, when i cry, when i weep. 
It tells me when i should be energized, 
and it cuddles me to sleep. 

it engulfs my thoughts, 
and has found comfortable lodging in my heart. 
It grows with each passing day, 
and so to, does its power. 

I am not chained and held prisoner 
against the will thats mine. 
I welcomed, with open arms, this brilliant light
into my heart and mind. 

i never knew its power, 
or what it would become. 
and now the seeds that have been sewed, 
are not easily undone. 

I plan my life around this light, 
and crumble when it dims. 
And then the brilliance bounces back, 
and my twisted mind grins. 

my heart knows the fetal position,  
and it rarely knows to stand. 
and only does it come to its feet, 
when his hand is in my hand. 

this beauty, this brilliance, this LOVE. 
it overwhelms my soul. 
i never knew i could love so much, 
he's not become my part, but my whole. 

along the road of learning, 
and along the journey of life. 
i somewhere got tossed and forgotten, 
the beginnings to this strife. 

if i only knew to embrace it then, 
and not push it deep inside. 
i could have been the master of my soul, 
instead i run and hide. 

i sit along the sidelines, 
and cheer my heart along. 
the love that holds the reins to all, 
the place where I belong. 

this love ravages my body, 
and takes all to leave none behind. 
it holds my oxygen captive, 
and keeps whats rightfully mine. 

This love i know, is real and deep, 
and powers the happiness behind my smile
and I never for a second resent this love. 
after all, its all that i am.