If Only

Written by: Dana Kirby

The wave's wash in and then wash out again. A spinning tidal pool you cannot 
concede. I cannot count on any amount of fingers of just how many times I have 
cried over you.

I remember that day well
Sitting in the sand
Playing and sometimes tasting it too
I was too close to the water
I was always too close to the edge.

I was bold and brave
Fear was never a part of my vocabulary
Or maybe it was just that I was to young to care.

In an instance I was sucked in
And frantically on the outside my mom was freaking
Up and down, up and down
My mother standing yelling, helplessly.

She never learned to swim
Was ghastly affraid of the rising water
She called quickly to my sister
A masterful swimmer at 12
And she dove in to save me.

The devilish grin on my face made my mother's anger soar
There was not even a tear in my eye
She clung to me through the fear,
The fear of losing me to the tide.

I could still here the ocean screaming in my ears
Taste the salt on my tongue
Feel the sand lodged deep inside my bathing suit 
And my nostrils were filled with the same salty aftermath,
I was all to eager just to get close once again.

Sometimes's today I look out into to space
And see my head under that tide, in this I call life
But now I struggle to keep my head above water
For fears of drowning in my own being.

Funny how one can be so brave and not fear all that is in the world
And as time passes they learn to fear the most simplest of things.

   If only for oneday I could have back what I had then. 


                                                                         Hmmmm!