The hand I dealt

Written by: Helen Forber

Life is just a game to me,
I never stood a chance.
The rules were just suggestion,
To play me while I danced…

To dance around in circles,
Chasing what was hope.
Enough to feed allusion
Enough to keep afloat.

And when my hand was strongest,
When odds were at their best.
My cards had left me nothing,
Now I sit and bare the jest.

Games were always changing,
The rules were never set.
The bluff, almost convincing
As I double-up my bet.

It seems luck is against me,
Fate with her to boot.
They weren’t content with winning,
So they robbed of my youth.

Lonely chips are waiting,
Soon I’ll be all out.
I think myself, a victim
But I always kept a count. 

Always taking chances,
I swam against the tides.
The players seemed to notice,
So familiar with my lies. 

I didn’t seek to hide it,
Or disguise my lack of faith.
I wouldn’t bother cheating,
Nor try to plead my case.

I gambled all my savings,
My feelings and my past.
Remorse was just a bonus,
One I finally lost at last.

When I reached my limit,
The end of my last bout.
No one bothered turning,
Or rose to see me out…

I refused to waste a moment,
Nor stop to breathe the air.
My tired legs were moving,
But to where? I didn't care.