Ode to a Shrunken Sweatshirt

Written by: James Rasmusson

It wasn't that she couldn't read
It was just instructions she failed to heed
For on the back was a washing label
100% fact, 0% fable
Perhaps she thought it was a lie
"Drip dry" "Drip dry" "Drip dry"
Before they were washed the fit was roomy
And I would say it's safe to assumey
That deep within her Christmas heart
She longed for a gift from old Walmart

For as they tumbled in the dryer
And the heat got higher higher
A man's size large became a small
Becoming short instead of tall

Now it wasn't that she pulled a boner
The sweats just got a brand new owner
"Hello" to Kris, to Jim "Good-bye"
"Drip dry" "Drip dry" "Drip dry"