the hunchback of tennessee

Written by: Milton Toran

my cousin owned a beagle,
a real horny ol' dog;
he hunched everything in sight,
even a dried out log!

i looked out in the back yard,
what do you think i'd see?;
that peanut-head beagle,
hunchin' on a willow tree!

hunchin' on a bicycle,
hunchin' on a car;
hunchin' on a porcupine,
( that left a painful scar!! )

i woke up one morning,
squeaks echoed throughout my head;
i looked down at my feet,
that mutt was hunchin' on my bed!

he never rolled over,
he'd never fetch or beg;
but he could sure work up a sweat
on the shin bone of a leg!

one day i had enough,
i called my cousin on the phone;
i shouted through the receiver...
"your dog's hunchin' on a pine cone!!"

that's when i realized,
milk and oil will never mix;
once again i shouted out...
"why don't you have him fixed?!!"

my cousin then replied...
"you know that ain't no good!"...
"it wouldn't be right
to take away his manhood!"

one day we went fishing,
the sun rose from the south;
that stupid ol' dog 
started hunchin' on a cottonmouth!

he was struck several times,
maybe eight to ten;
that silly ol' beagle
keeled over on his chin!

out in the back yard,
beneath that same willow tree;
we laid to rest our horny friend,
the hunchback of tennessee!