mother

Written by: Dana Teske

i call for mother
for she is sleeping on the sofa 
i look more close for death has come to call on this sunny spring day
"mother , "mom" "mommy"
no words will wake her for death has made his final round
my breaths shall not save her no matter how hard i pump
my pleas nor cries will bring her smile back out from behind her blue lips 

i stand before mother in her favorite dress and i hold her cold hand as those around say it 
was for the best
i lay in mother empty bed smelling her perfume waiting for her just to walk though the door
i wait in darkness for my heart has no light 

my days are full with routine but i am dead on the inside my smiles are fake and my laughs 
are brittle
"just one more day to get though"
i am lifess and joyless i am pointless

my children grow but i am blind 
i grow older but my grief ages me even faster
my face i no longer recongize though the mirror

long roads and dead ends but i can start to breath again
recovery is so hard mother but recover is a must 
my smiles are real and i can now laugh without crying 
no longer do i look to the door waiting
some days are long and i must really work at it
some days are so easy that i never want them to end

i stand with flowers in my hand and the spring breeze ruffles my hair 
i look to your grave and 
i can finally say i will  be fine
i will be ok