What Did I Do?

Written by: Tyesha Ehigiator

I lay there dreary eyed
And congested

Suffering in pain
Drowning in silence

I sit there distinctively 
Wrapped inside my blanket

Watching the heater
Move slowly back and forth

I lay there only to feel, 
Feel the increased tension arise 
As the hours go by

Gently I move 
Toward the end of the bed

As he turned over and said
What time is it?

I replied
And suddenly I could hear all the anger in his voice

As he began to yell at me
My eyes started to water

The sea of tears
Swiftly turned into an ocean

I could see the enormous disappointment and
Increasing anger that approached his face

As if I was a thief
Who had stolen his wallet

I left the room
Escaped to my place of solitude

I took a shower
Only to stand there desiring the pressure of the water
Running down my back
To give me some relief, relief from what I'm feeling

I cried out loud, what did I do?
Time and time again
Only to hear his voice playing like a broken record
Over and over in my head
I stay there for awhile and then retrieve to my secret place 
The place I hide inside
And once again, this memory begins and I just pretend
That nothing ever happened.

I lay down to sleep, close my eyes and Delete
If only I knew. What did I do?...