Submit Your Poems
Get Your Premium Membership


See and share Beautiful Nature Photos and amazing photos of interesting places




Read hero Poems Online

NextLast
 

Spiders in the Bath

Now here's a handy little tip I came across by chance,
While visiting the bathroom as a lad home from a dance.
I was a little worse for alcohol, so have to be forgiven,
For the odd thoughts that occur to me when I am cider driven.

I was there to give my teeth a brush and stood in fear of death,
As I had to get some mint on board before mum smelt my breath.
So I loaded up my toothbrush and I’d squeezed a good supply,
When I noticed something moving in the corner of my eye.

Well, I turned around quite slowly just in case it was a mouse.
For I'd seen them in the garden twice, but never in the house.
I was set to do the pouncing stuff, but then was forced to laugh,
As my eyes met two big spiders that were trapped down in the bath.

While I stood and watched their climbing fails I’d built up quite a foam,
And I thought, I shouldn't waste it, I should spit it a new home.
So I climbed up on the bath tub rim and hovered like a dove,
And with those spiders as my targets - I would bomb them from above.

Well, it took so many efforts, I was aiming like a fool,
Which meant I soon ran out of ammo, so I climbed down to refuel.
So I spread my Colgate nice and thick and brushed away for fun,
Till I’d whipped another mouthful, for another bombing run.

And then at last I hit one, on the edge with just some dregs,
And I watched with glazed amazement as it paralysed three legs.
With just five legs to drag himself, he couldn't reach his max,
Then I hit him with a splatter bomb which stopped him in his tracks.

I never thought that tooth paste drips would do them that much harm,
But the effect on those poor spiders was as deadly as Napalm.
The good news is, it sobered me, all that hanging over head,
And my teeth had never been so clean and both of them were dead.

Well this tip that I pass on to you, is bound to come in handy,
Just share it with your family and they'll love it more than candy.
You can save yourself a pile of work, catching bugs for bath release,
It will clear your house of spiders; clean your bath and kiddy's teeth.

NextLast

Comments

Please Login to post a comment


 
  1. Date: 9/18/2014 8:48:00 AM

    Good for a smile on a dreary day. Thanks!
  1. Date: 9/18/2014 8:37:00 AM

    Lucky you didn't fall in and have them crawl on you.....creepy.....cheers
  1. Date: 9/18/2014 7:38:00 AM

    I don't like spiders at the best of time ////00\\\\ - death by colgate sounds interesting but will leave hubby to remove them humanely rather than kill them. Hugs Jan xx
  1. Date: 9/18/2014 7:17:00 AM

    HAHAHA oh this is great. Awesome advice! LOL. Oh I can picture your application of devices so perfectly to my amusement, I just wonder who was left to clean up the messes. :) Very good poem!

Back