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Return to myself

Return to myself 

She was alone and alone 
And she was so happy being alone
And she was so blissful being alone
And she was so happy with her attitude of life
In her solitude;
But I only broke her solitude 
And connected her to a companionship  
And she was dragged by that 
Camaraderie into its life
And made her to feel it as joy of life;

Hence she forgot her life 
And she even forgot herself
And also forgot her solitude
And was completely possessed by that companion 
With the love in which she was seized;

And days, years, ages passed by
And she has been in that life till now
In that hibernation, in that hallucination
In that delusion. And in that mirage 
In which I have fixed her with my thoughts;

And now she woke up from herself 
And opened her eyes and her senses 
And now she doesn't see her companion
Which she has felt as spirit of her life
Who slain her and deserted her in Hell;
And she doesn't know that
It was my entire mind which ruined her life 
And she’s just alive like a stone
And just like a being without life 
And now I realized my stupid mistake;
And now I am wanting her back 
And I want to make her alone
And want to get her back to her solitude
So I started treating her lesion to keep
Her alive and to keep her alone
And to connect her to her solitude 
In which I and she can live 
In our infinite and unique love
Without which I can’t live
And can’t breathe
And can’t exist;

So I’m recreating her as my life 
And without me she can’t live 
As I can make out from her hollow life
And can make out from her silent prayers 
To my mind from her moaning heart;

I was so foolish punished by handing 
Her over all these lives to the devil in my mind
And I’m now in search of my life
By speaking to my heart
With language of my soul
And soothing her with my love;
Now we could live together in her loneliness
And in her solitude, and in that real world 
As divine beings of love and the true life
And live our life at the fullest
Till we exhaust in the journey of our love; 

© Ramakrishna Chowdary Jasti



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