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same stage different age

At the ripe tender age of three 
I loved them,  they hated me 
Secrets kept from mothers eyes 
I learned early to silence my cries 

Time moved on the stories the same 
I bestow upon myself all the blame 
It was my fault,  I drank too much that night 
At fourteen, and I didn't even fight 

The clock ticks on,  time don't stand still 
I got married,  of my own free will 
He hates me I am sure,  I know by the way he controls 
And I let him do it,  God have mercy on our souls 

A victim,  I am not,  to such titles,  I've no right 
IN the very least,  I should've put up a fight 
But, I never do,  I always refuse 
I hate myself,  why care if I lose 
 
And as the sands keeping passing fast 
Within the walls of my hourglass
A stranger pens me beauty and light 
But unto a broken one,  hope doesn't feel right 

I am accustomed to pain and anger 
I feel strongest when I am in danger 
If love is all you vow to give 
You scare me more than the life I live 

I try to picture it all in my head 
Wishing this stranger,  to have danced in my bed 
But I now know for certain,  it couldn't be he
For the sun has always forsaken me 

So I will walk along my comfortably broken path 
Until this stranger unleashes his wrath 
I will not fear pain, anger, or even lies 
For those things have become familiar to my eyes

Father in Heaven,  please be at my side 
I fear that the pain,  grows inside 
If it is him, oh,  what will I do 
To honor my heart,  is to disgrace you 

And if it's not him, my disappointment will be seen 
Caught up in a mess , no ones hands are clean 
He's just as ugly inside as I am too 
But he's the closest thing to heaven that I've ever knew


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