Walking With Emmanuel: the Abused Child
I now walk with the young Emmanuel
In his gardens of trees and flowers
Out of the darkness of my lasting den
Where the two monsters kept me without end
In the house of horrors and orcs
I felt unworthy of love and hugs
In the cellar forever kept
There living, sometimes fed
Female orc called me ‘I love you my dear’
While burning my arms with cigarette butts
Male orc told me, ‘My beloved man hear’
While stretching my bones with a baseball bat
I was eight when I lost my hope
And placed in the darkness of that cellar
With my teddy bear unable to cope
An empty milk bowl and of fear a dweller
I cannot recall night from day
It was always cold and hot
It was dark and sometimes grey
I felt I deserved it, by the fear I was caught
My bones were broken and aching
My head bleeding everywhere
My skin burned as if it were baking
My bones coming out of the skin like a flare
I could no longer distinguish what was true
In constant despair and confusion
I could not eat, I could only spew
My body was treated by perennial contusion
So, one day, Emmanuel came and talked
A young boy like me, surrounded by light
My pain and despair were blocked
He brought me some milk and a dress so white
When Emmanuel came again in a white cloud
He took me to a garden I never saw
The scent of flowers and fruits made me proud
Out of that cellar’s ominous law
My joy did not please the two orcs
They told me, ‘You never learn the lesson’
So an iron substituted the cigs
And a metal bar was used to extort my confession
Emmanuel came again surrounded by a mist
He brought me back to his garden to express a wish
I was confused as all my desires were on an empty dish
So, I replied, ‘I feel lonely and unwanted, I wish not to exist’
It was one day of a cold December
I could hear street children singing their carols
I could not talk and walk anymore as I remember
On the road, mothers surrounded their children with caring
I felt weak, my head constantly bleeding
My bones coming out of my flesh with no surprise
My teeth lost for decay and no healing
The darkness forever taking my eyes
[…]until my last despair exhaled out of my chest
I was again with Emmanuel […]
He took me to a golden shelter
There was a bowl of fresh milk and an apple
He told me I could stay with him forever
Singing with other children in an ivory chapel
Copyright © Carlo Lazzari | Year Posted 2021
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