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Look after Joe our mother said
We promised we would do it
She needed a break from all of us
And went out of town for a visit.
It was the spring of '93
The blizzard had ruined my place
So Sam was helping clean up my yard
Little did we know
We'd soon be red in the face!
I went down to check on Joe
He asked me to regulate his shower
I told him I'd do it later
And asked if he could wait an hour.
An hour passed, then two
We were busy with what we were doing
We forgot Joe needed a hand
And was sitting, waiting, stewing.
When I remembered to go back
I found it out of my power
For Joe had taken matters into his own hands
And was stepping out of the shower.
You adjusted the water, I began
Oh no Miss Emily
I could not do it myself
It was that nice policeman.
Where did you find a policeman
Out here in the sticks, I cried
Knowing in my heart something was wrong.
Easy Miss Emily, I figured it out
I needed help,
So I dialed 911.
I was horrified, afraid they would think us bad
For neglecting our uncle that fine spring day
Too busy to give him what he needed
Scared they'd take him away.
Oh no probem Jane
The man said when I called
We understand what happened today
Just tell Uncle Joe if he does it again
That out of his pocket he'll pay.
Our mother was not happy with us
But eventually thought it great fun
That Uncle Joe took matters into his own hands
And for help, dialed 911.