In Moltovia they had a navy comprised of a small rowing boat,
An admiral, a captain, a seaman and their mascot, a grumpy old goat.
Moltovia, as you know, is landlocked, not the slightest hint of coastline,
So the navy sailed in a fountain measuring exactly five metres by nine.
The admiral’s magnificent whiskers were the finest in all of the land.
To see him unfurl them each morning was a sight breathtaking and grand.
The captain was dashing and handsome, he made all the young ladies swoon.
The seaman didn’t draw such attention because he looked like a baboon.
The men of Moltovia shared one dream, to join the ranks of their country’s navy
And to taste the thrill of adventure upon its diminutive fountain-sized sea.
The pretty young girls and fine ladies all dreamt of being the captain’s bride.
By the fountain they stood broken-hearted each day as he sailed with the tide.
The navy had a glorious history, it had never suffered a single defeat;
An achievement celebrated daily the length of every Moltovian street.
The admiral, the captain, the seaman and even the grumpy old goat
Were the pride of the proud little nation whose navy had just one rowing boat.
But then came the day, dark and fateful, that has gone down in infamy,
Friday the thirteenth of September, at about a quarter past three.
On a routine patrol of the fountain, the navy came upon a huge chain.
The seaman proceeded to tug it and the fountain started to drain.
As the water began to vanish, he realised he’d pulled out the plug.
All his efforts to replace it were futile, the fountain emptied with a deafening glug.
The pride of the Moltovian nation was swept up in a great whirlpool,
But down to the very last second all the crew stayed calm and cool.
The admiral, the captain, the seaman and their mascot, the grumpy old goat,
All stood tall and proud, and saluted on the deck of their doomed rowing boat.
And there they stayed like true heroes, as the water drained faster and faster,
Until all four were sucked down the drain, in The Great Moltovian Naval Disaster.