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Stroke Induced

Symmetry 
The over compensation of one sense 
over another
the way a blind man sees insight
more clearly 
or how a mother chooses a son 
over her brother 

Trying to describe disability in five seconds or less
the sixth second, I was blessed
It was as if I climbed out of my body &
 into my mind and I began kicking around my own furniture. Arrested for
violating my own restraining order.
I'd cry, if only I'd let me.
I went to war with myself 
Had the speech choked out of me
like a foreign object had entered my body
and drew hieroglyphics on me
 in Egyptian fashion.
I did not recognize 
my alienness.
DNA corrupted 
like a woman who scribbles 
“Sorry! Couldn't stay,” with
Lipstick on a mirror.
I'd scream, If only I would let me.
Suddenly, I became aware 
how strength is just a metaphor so
I prayed some more.
"If only" somehow let loose 
And with a rush of emotion 
I began hearing myself talk to God
as if I was operating on my own
contradictions. Cutting into my appendages,
I recognized why elitists have a mentality of  savagery.
You've got to give a little to get a little
instead of just giving.
All of a sudden my prayer sounded Hindu in nature. Chanting for favor.

My body can never describe all that 
goes on inside, but if you look close
you can ascertain the sum of all my fears. 
Eventually, even Morgan Freeman 
disappears.
Touch me, and I'll cry two tears;
If only, I let myself loose. 
My life, stroke induced.


Copyright © TS Lewis

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