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Below are poems written by poet James Peranteau. Click the Next or Previous links below the poem to navigate between poems. Remember, Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth. Thank you.

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Penis envy

                                             Penis envy ?

                         I thought, what the heck is that really...
                                         I went to google 
                                    for the true low down....
                                              hold on.....
I bet you don't believe that I didn't know that, yet I didn't, I thought that it was 
                                          a guy complex!
                          Listen girlie, you are not missing a thing... 
                            it's a chore having one of these things

                                    First thing in the morning 
                             it's already starting trouble with you! 
     First it wants to play when ya just wanna get up and have some coffee...
                                      then it wants to pee...
                             and it does this several times a day! 
    Then ya gots ta shield it and those two delicate pals of his or else you feel 
                                             not them                                
                                      any and all affliction! 
       If there is no one around to play with him, you get pissed off, not him!
                                If'n ya don't keep him warm
                                      even on a good day
                                      he'll never show off
                              If he doesn’t want to go back in
                                          after he pees
                                           you scream
                                      Oh the list goes on 
                          let's just go to the family room girlie
                                        Play with the dog

* This write was inspired by Andrea Dietrich
   Thank you dear poet!

Copyright © James Peranteau


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  1. Date: 2/8/2016 2:45:00 PM

    Enjoyed this funny poem. Have not seen any new poems James. Hope all is well with you. love phyl
  1. Date: 12/31/2015 5:36:00 AM

    Oh man, this was hilarious James. Great job! Always, Laura
  1. Date: 12/25/2015 11:02:00 PM

    Hi James, I'm going to close my eyes here. LOL.. Love the end, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year May all your days shine and dreams come true. :) Every day should be a day with family and friends. I appreciate everyone. Sorry to all those I have taken for granted. SHAME ON ME. I promise, 2016 will be a new me. Merry Christmas!!! May the true meaning of the holiday season fill your heart and home. Always & Forever ~LINDA~
  1. Date: 10/17/2015 11:09:00 AM

    Oh the wit, is superb,
  1. Date: 9/12/2015 6:36:00 PM

    What a beautiful and excellent write. I burst into laughing as I read this piece...good one.......A.M.
  1. Date: 9/12/2015 3:29:00 PM

    The good and the bad...humorous write, I enjoyed.
  1. Date: 9/12/2015 2:45:00 PM

    haha, and it's fun reading the comments you are getting. This title is an attention getter for sure! I can't believe you didn't know it referred to women. I think Freud was sick in the head!!
  1. Date: 9/12/2015 2:02:00 PM

    goodness, you knocked me off my socks, james... a goood one!.. huggs
  1. Date: 9/12/2015 11:50:00 AM

    - "What on earth ....." I thought, when I read the title :)))) - Best wishes for the weekend, James :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
  1. Date: 9/12/2015 11:01:00 AM

    James you will make Andrea proud with this one. It's nice to read and laugh. I can relate to this one. lol
  1. Date: 9/12/2015 9:58:00 AM

    I'm sure Andrea will be flattered James LOL:-) hugs Jan xx
  1. Date: 9/12/2015 9:46:00 AM

    Ha ha, but he is also the source of much enjoyment!