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something in the air called loneliness

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something in the air called loneliness

something in the air called loneliness
makes me do things that are disguised 
as outlets
my heart does the thinking for my brain
and the brain does the beating for my
heart
thinking that it is all a recipe for renovation
is actually a blueprint for surefire disaster
i laugh at my own jokes as i lie to myself
knowing that something is wrong and that 
the pain is obviously there
something starts to fall as i imagine a hand
that i so long to hold and the beauty that i
so yearn to see
puzzles in my mind cannot be put together
in any type of strategic way and board games
in my heart can never be won in any type of
masterful fashion
knowing this, i just go on with my head held high
trying to mask the raging sorrow that i feel for 
myself
repetition is like a pill you intentionally take after the
expiration date's expiration
seduction is like a laxative that starts working in the heart
of a long-awaited exploration
i wish i could christen myself at my own rededication, but a
voice ever so unhealthy for me continuously asserts its 
persistence to give me medication
unfocused with no hint of even a smidgen of a goal, i kindly
follow blindly....

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