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The Great Turtle and Sky Woman

Debbie Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi - LIFETIME Premium Member Debbie Guzzi - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled The Great Turtle and Sky Woman which was written by poet Debbie Guzzi. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Poet's Notes About The Poem
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created by Laura Lamarca, and consists of at least 3, 4 line stanzas.

The rhyme scheme for each stanza is the same as Long Measure,

 

a. b. (c1. c2.) b.

Instead of being Iambic Tetrameter it has a syllable count of

9. 7. (9.) 9.

Line 3 is a Repeating Line, which contains an internal rhyme and is repeated in each alternate stanza as in the first stanza. Each even stanza line contains the same line but with the two parts of the internal rhyme swapped. There is no maximum poem length.
 


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The Great Turtle and Sky Woman

A round I'll write on a turtles shell
in hyperbole you'll be borne
on each carapace a story's traced
of when the world was first born.

How Sky Woman fell from blackest night
through a hole Great Spirit made
she glowed with light and greatly excited
the sea creatures were afraid.

They dove to the bottom of the sea
and waited to see her drift down;
a story's traced on each carapace
of how Sky Woman found ground.

The beaver, the loon and the muskrat
dove beneath the endless sea;
and greatly excited she glowed with light
as they brought the earth to be.

From the bottom of the sea muskrat's
brave form rose, earth in his claw;
on each carapace a story's traced
of the land the Great Turtle bore.

An island formed on the turtles back
a place for Sky Woman, land!
She glowed with light and greatly excited
as swans brought her down to stand.

Two children were born to Sky Women
one bad and one good, her sons;
a story's traced on each carapace
of her death by the bad one.

The Good Son took his mothers body
from her limbs stars and moon spun;
and greatly excited she glowed with light
as from her head, he made sun.

To this day the Good Spirit guides
the souls of good men at death;
on each carapace a story's traced
of good and bad, her behest.



An attempt at ZaniLa Rhyme don't copy it isn't correct ;). Phew hard!

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  1. Date: 7/29/2014 1:08:00 PM
    Debbie, Congratulations, on your awesome win.... Love Linda

  1. Date: 7/29/2014 12:53:00 PM
    Belongs in a storybook...and yes, it DOES look hard!

  1. Date: 7/29/2014 3:17:00 AM
    Debbie, back to say congrats on your wonderful winning write!

  1. Date: 7/27/2014 12:08:00 PM
    Awesome the way you wove the legends and history into the turtle's life. You really have a remarkable knowledge of turtles. Congrats on your win, dear! Love, Carolyn

  1. Date: 7/27/2014 7:52:00 AM
    Wonderful Debbie! Hats off to you,, ur writes r unique, elegant n matchless ! Words r less to appreciate,, Congrats on win!

  1. Date: 7/27/2014 1:34:00 AM
    wow!! a poem of legendary tales and great format to write - a lesson to us all. a bow to you Debbie. Mohan

  1. Date: 7/26/2014 10:24:00 PM
    Very clever and intellectual attempt at the few form, Debbie. congrats

  1. Date: 7/17/2014 1:57:00 PM
    This seems like it was heavily influenced by Native American legends. Quite an interesting piece of literature here! If you have a book you can send it to me and I can donate it to Poets House a 60,000 volume library of poetry where I currently volunteer. Peace &Love Matthew Anish

    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi
    Date: 7/17/2014 3:29:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    yes of course it is Matt that's what Dee asked for ;)
  1. Date: 7/16/2014 5:23:00 PM
    hmmm, it seems a bit like a pantoum to me. I noticed at least a few lines repeated a lot. I don't know this form either but it sure likes right to ME.

  1. Date: 7/16/2014 5:29:00 AM
    WOW! WOW! WOW! Deb, this is magical and mesmerizing! I just loved it!

  1. Date: 7/15/2014 11:30:00 PM
    I bow in honor and respect for your intelligent mastery.. Wow Debbie, impressive!

  1. Date: 7/15/2014 5:29:00 PM
    sooooooo good! argh argh!!!! I've now changed the name of the contest to make it super clear what I'm looking for and put free verse in the contest details in like a size 30 font... you were not alone... another wonderful poem also was rhyme. If you enter it, I will highlight it in a blog and guarantee a HM... PS- THIS WOULD BE LOVELY ILLUSTRATED. Like a grown up fairy tale... I can see it.. it would look like stained glass... almost illuminated. xoxo and :( and <3 and !!!!! WOW!!!! all together

    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi
    Date: 7/15/2014 7:38:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    It's OK honey bun maybe I'll get the strength to try AGAIN!