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Snake Bit

Donna Jones Avatar Donna Jones - LIFETIME Premium Member Donna Jones - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Snake Bit which was written by poet Donna Jones. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Snake Bit

I was thirteen and you...well you, a sophomore by then..
that night you stopped by to see me, at the Jr high game.

Friends most of our lives..you called me "kid" and I loved it when you did!
Hey "kid" come go for a ride on my new motorcycle! 
The night was cool..you slipped your leather football jacket around me and
we both laughed as I disappeared into its sleeves.

What would I have to give to once again relive .. the way you looked at me just then?
As though you'd never really seen me before..like I was no longer a kid..

Your big hands gently touching my face..fingers running through my long
black hair..carefully exploring my mouth as though you were tasting my smiles..

Suddenly, you jumped back like you had just been snake bitten,
and we were both laughing again.....

You never called me "kid" again...
I never told you, that was my first kiss..



12-8-2013
©Donna Jones

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  1. Date: 2/11/2014 8:27:00 PM

    Amazing and wonderful Donna... SKAT

  1. Date: 1/16/2014 7:49:00 PM

    very well done! wow. great job

  1. Date: 1/15/2014 6:30:00 AM

    Inspiring thoughts to give up something to relive and congrats on the fine win, Donna

  1. Date: 1/12/2014 6:00:00 PM

    Ahhh this is very publishable ;). A fav Light & Love

  1. Date: 12/27/2013 2:32:00 PM

    Very good Donna. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. Wishing you all the best for the new year.

  1. Date: 12/21/2013 1:34:00 PM

    Very nicely written Donna and very sweet and innocent. Also enjoy your expressiveness in your work. I hope you have a very special holiday season. Take care.

  1. Date: 12/21/2013 2:49:00 AM

    Absorbing, I hung on every word.

  1. Date: 12/20/2013 2:39:00 PM

    Wow great work i felt like i was their watching everything with ya. this is what poetry is meant to do. loved it kido. cheri

  1. Date: 12/19/2013 10:23:00 PM

    OH MY GOSH, how did I EVER miss this. I love this. So perfect for the contest. A FAVE

  1. Date: 12/13/2013 7:22:00 PM

    Such a greatl write. you have brought back some wonderful cherished memories back for me tonight . Never really got over my first love, best year of my life. thank toy so much for sharing. best wishes. Pete.

  1. Date: 12/12/2013 1:41:00 PM

    I love this. It succinctly captures the innocence and magic of young love. Well done. Thank you. Gary

    Jones Avatar Donna Jones Date: 12/12/2013 8:20:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you....for the nice compliment and for stopping by....
  1. Date: 12/11/2013 5:29:00 PM

    Donna You took me back in time with you! You are a passionate and brilliant writer. My Best.. chuck

    Jones Avatar Donna Jones Date: 12/12/2013 8:16:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you very much....
  1. Date: 12/11/2013 7:53:00 AM

    Romantic and lovely. Ah, a girl's first kiss is a sweet memory that never fades.

    Jones Avatar Donna Jones Date: 12/12/2013 8:12:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Hello Monterey....for sure right? Thanks so much for stopping
  1. Date: 12/11/2013 12:00:00 AM

    Amazing work, Donna, this is lovely!!!

    Jones Avatar Donna Jones Date: 12/12/2013 8:03:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you Bindu very much....
  1. Date: 12/10/2013 11:26:00 PM

    Wowzer, this is hot, sweet and delicious all at the same time. To my favorites Donna!

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux Date: 12/12/2013 10:48:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Ypu have made me smile many times, I am glad I can return the favor.
    Jones Avatar Donna Jones Date: 12/12/2013 8:02:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Awesome Richard....thank you so much...you made me smile tonight
  1. Date: 12/10/2013 3:40:00 PM

    It is a very well written poem. I liked the variation of the rhythm based on the length of each line (a characteristic of good European free verse, bravo!) and the sharp alteration of mood based on the characteristic humbleness of the author. 7 G.

    Jones Avatar Donna Jones Date: 12/10/2013 11:11:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you for the kind review...:-)
  1. Date: 12/10/2013 1:38:00 PM

    - A sweet and very nice memory to share Donna - love it - Good luck in the contest. - oxox // Anne-Lise :)

    Jones Avatar Donna Jones Date: 12/10/2013 11:09:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you sweet Anne Lise...
  1. Date: 12/9/2013 3:44:00 PM

    Wonderful Donna, those kind of moments are very special, thank you for sharing and disregard the Bozo at the bottom!

    Jones Avatar Donna Jones Date: 12/9/2013 7:26:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks for your support below..means a lot!
    Jones Avatar Donna Jones Date: 12/9/2013 7:25:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks very much Craig...I don't sweat the small stuff...life is precious to me..:-)
  1. Date: 12/9/2013 2:10:00 PM

    I though it was excellent, Donna. It's easy for the reader to see it, if the reader will read it. It's quite vivid, actually.

    Jones Avatar Donna Jones Date: 12/9/2013 7:27:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks for your support below means alot
    Jones Avatar Donna Jones Date: 12/9/2013 7:23:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Ahhh.thanks lil bro....and try not to think anyone will EVER see your daughter this way haha..:-) :-) lol
  1. Date: 12/9/2013 1:21:00 PM

    Hi Donna what a great memory, good luck in the contest, all the best Poetowen

    Jones Avatar Donna Jones Date: 12/9/2013 7:28:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks for your support means alot
    Jones Avatar Donna Jones Date: 12/9/2013 7:21:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks Owen....I'd like to relive it again...guess I'm getting old..haha
  1. Date: 12/9/2013 10:31:00 AM

    You know what, this is a personal poem. Yes.That's what makes this even more important than just a typical poem. Of course, we don't know who the person you speak of is, that's the whole point! It's from the heart, from your memory. You shared that with us. It's not always easy to do that. This was a story filled with innocence & laughter from the days of old. You didn't exclude me. You included me in this poetic memory. People would & should know how to appreciate that.

    Jones Avatar Donna Jones Date: 12/9/2013 7:27:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks for your support means alot
    Jones Avatar Donna Jones Date: 12/9/2013 7:19:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I'm glad you enjoyed my memory Drake...one only I would want to relive..:-)
  1. Date: 12/9/2013 10:26:00 AM

    Sorry to read that comment at the bottom Donna, poetry is not about knowing who the characters are, its about the message behind the characters and you bring it out fabulously, blessings, Carl

    Jones Avatar Donna Jones Date: 12/9/2013 7:29:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks for your support means alot
    Jones Avatar Donna Jones Date: 12/9/2013 7:18:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you Carl...very kind indeed...
  1. Date: 12/9/2013 5:11:00 AM

    Very ro9mantic write, Donna

    Jones Avatar Donna Jones Date: 12/9/2013 7:29:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks for your support means alot
    Jones Avatar Donna Jones Date: 12/9/2013 7:16:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Very sweet of you Dr Ram....
  1. Date: 12/9/2013 5:03:00 AM

    Tender and romantic that makes one go back in time and relieve ecstatic moments like this! Marvelously written! A 7! Good luck in the contest dear, Donna!

    Jones Avatar Donna Jones Date: 12/9/2013 7:30:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks for your support means alot
    Jones Avatar Donna Jones Date: 12/9/2013 7:16:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you very much sir
  1. Date: 12/8/2013 10:37:00 PM

    I love this, this is a tremendous and enlightening write my friend! I surely loved reading this positively glorious poem this evening What a masterfully sentimental piece, Great Work!!

    Jones Avatar Donna Jones Date: 12/9/2013 7:31:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks for your support means alot
    Jones Avatar Donna Jones Date: 12/8/2013 10:44:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Ah thanks Russell...:-) good luck tomorrow..
  1. Date: 12/8/2013 10:25:00 PM

    Nice write Donna. once one has been married for a while, they tend to look at each other with yesterdays eyes. Never seeing each other really....I loved your poem Donna....peter

    Jones Avatar Donna Jones Date: 12/9/2013 7:31:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks for your support means alot
    Jones Avatar Donna Jones Date: 12/8/2013 10:43:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you..and hello to Vera...that was my grandma's name!
  1. Date: 12/8/2013 7:20:00 PM

    Men!!! Ya can't live with them and ya can't have a past. That sure was the kiss of death. This poem is very personal and as such "excludes" the reader. We don;t know who these people are and why we should care.

    cornish Avatar craig cornish Date: 12/9/2013 3:42:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Catherine, are you a lesbian or a nun--with an attitude like yours--no wonder you are bitter
    Smith Avatar Caleb Smith Date: 12/9/2013 2:08:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Awful harsh, Catherine. You really know how to light up a room.
    Jones Avatar Donna Jones Date: 12/8/2013 10:41:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Sorry you don't care for the poem..:-)