Many years after I got away from him I then realized what an effect and affect it had on my children and still the insecurities and trust issues surface at times.
They are aware of why we decided to have them being unmarried and trying to get a grip.
What do we have in life? Without them I would be nothing, have nothing to look forward to and as selfish as it was I know that the God I serve surely blesses all of us with delight. Wer have grown as a family. I prayed in the darkest times around the Christmas tree with their little hands together, it was a prayer for God to let us be meek throughout their young lives so that I may teach them real values. At times it was a challenge and I felt bad but then I would remember my prayer. I became quite eccentric with my teachings.
Recalling when they were very young students we took the entire Thanksgiving dinner to the park. With our winter coats on, I set the table at a picnic table and it was then the mood was set to tell about the first thanksgiving. My oldest son says that today he thinks about many ways that were out of the ordinary that back then he thought nothing about us being different.
I say that different can be good. Why focus on the bad when we are richly blessed in life so many times each and every day. I look at the simplicities. I didn't have to look back at the past and forgive because I forgave him the instance after the vile acts were committed and I didn't look back. It what was~