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Burnt by kist

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Below is the poem entitled Burnt by kist which was written by poet DON JOHNSON. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Burnt by kist

Burnt by kist… The burning kiss sets pants on fire, Soon over come with heat desire, No rhyme or reason we perspire, Just takes one burning kiss, The eyes do lock, no question there, A first sweet kiss, we tremble, stare, At once returned, fascination rare, A heightened state of bliss, Hold the phone cos we aint here, Step up to own, yes you my dear, Brain disordered, mumbling, queer, Do you remember this, Just takes one burning kiss, Don Johnson

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  1. Date: 10/12/2013 9:44:00 AM
    Hi, Don. I really enjoyed this piece. My only suggestion would be to rework line 9. I get that the slang might be integral to the tone or mood of the piece, but, for me, it lowered the quality of the poem. I think it would sound best if it read "Hold the phone, for we aren't here". Great read overall, though; kudos! :)

  1. Date: 10/12/2013 6:40:00 AM
    - Hold onto the feeling of happiness, Don. - Lovely poem! - Have a wonderful weekend my friend! - oxox // Anne-Lise :)

  1. Date: 10/11/2013 8:15:00 PM
    A nice romantic write Don, enjoyed your verse tonight xxx