I don’t know how many years passed by since I last wrote you
All the letters I sent seemed like they never even got to you
But I’m not blaming you, no matter what I could never be so selfish
Lost my faith in your existence, I’m sorry Santa, I was foolish.
This year I’m asking something a bit awkward yet very special
I want you to bring me just enough courage for it to be lethal
The snow is so amazing and I just love to watch it as it is falling
In this year I wasn’t really living you know I was slowly dying.
Do you remember some of my letters from when I was a kid?
My drawing of a perfect family and afterwards what he did
Or when he hidden my booth and I couldn’t find it so he hit me
When I was hiding in the cabinet all “wet’ hoping he won’t find me
I asked you to take away his belt so I’ll never feel it again
To break the table which I was tied to and going insane
Also asked you to help them fight alcohol so we can be happy
Believing you could do it makes me look more than crappy
Once I told you to not let him come back no matter what happens
To stop my mom bringing up each night the mighty captains
Remember when I begged you to erase all of my bad memories
So they wouldn’t flashback and I could live with less worries
So many wishes I had and you didn’t make one become true
I’m sad you couldn’t so I guess the change is up to me and not you
For the moment I’d be ok to breathe normally without hearing a sound
Don’t know when tears will stop, let me stay a bit more here on the ground
Pills and a bottle next to me telling me they all are that I need
Earlier I had the chance to purchase for relaxation some weed
That way I could have directly talk to you and the Lord
But I just lay here in my own sorrow and pain without a word.