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Repeat

Laura Breidenthal Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Repeat which was written by poet Laura Breidenthal. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Repeat

This is a collaboration I had been working on with a friend a while back. We might change the title. Her name is Rebecca Larkin. She started the poem with the first line and from there we switched back and forth. Wrote it at the beginning of the year sometime; forgot to date it, oops! Anyway, enjoy! ------------------------------------ Like dust in the wind, we are doomed to repeat ourselves Mingling past with present, we collect on the grimy shelves Of past’s hard keep, falling on repeat We gain from the pain and strange bittersweet Taking in the reality-split dreams The etching pangs of truth bursting at the seams With every glistening drop of clarity We engorge on the reliefs of now—a rarity Thoughts pool in a sludge of black, gleaming like oiled silk Denials spread like fires; saturated, we bilk Pain and tragedy strike their resonating, dissonant chords A darkness and sadness we can only desperately afford Pain. . .strife. . .repetitious like a swinging pendulum Achingly perfected rhythms gainst the beating death drum Slivers of silvery hope shine through darkened clouds Only to be covered again in menacing, smoky shrouds Faith is left dying in a pit of despair As the rest of emotion looms helpless in the air. . . Nothing seems fulfilling anymore The replay button fools my mind and cuts me to the core Round and round it goes again like the jagged tick of a clock Striving for purpose—screaming for love to find the lock But only silence escapes, beneath the skin torn lips- nothing remains The aftermath of quietude aches, scraping against endless pains hope falls away into a deplorable state; waiting—hoping—for resurrection And the painful power of truth is forced to gaze at its reflection Questioning whatever has happened to faith and belief? And why are the cliffs of sorrow so steep? Like settling dust we merge our present with the past Leaving the future on the shelf—too empty—too vast Squandering the sand of time with nothing left, nothing left

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  1. Date: 9/8/2014 10:39:00 PM
    Continued...The poetic metaphysics in this write are so physical, internal, and violent, " and the painful power of Truth is forced to look at It's own reflection..." Very illuminating poetry by you and Becca. Your new avatar is sweetly mysterious Laura...J.A.B.

  1. Date: 9/8/2014 10:35:00 PM
    How deadly dependence on the Past can be, making the Now a shallow reflection of whats no more, and there is a bizzare comfort in knowing what happened and ignoring what could be Laura. This awesome poem teaches me that we can starve our futures by gorging on the Past. "Screaming for love to find the lock..." yes, love does dawn the future for us. J.A.B.

  1. Date: 8/31/2013 3:44:00 PM
    I forgot about this for a time.. but yaay finally I have continued it hehe. But anyhow of all the lines there yours are the deepest and my favorite is "Achingly perfected rhythms gainst the beating death drum" I think it really strikes the heart of the piece--at least in my opinion but we shall see as we continue. And I shall comment again laters. --Becca

    Breidenthal Avatar Laura Breidenthal
    Date: 8/31/2013 7:00:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Awwh Well. I like your lines better so there! Hehe. We shall continue on! Always, Laura
  1. Date: 8/6/2013 5:52:00 PM
    Hey, at least there is some hope at the end. I have seen the word "slivers" used, and it is as if hope is a knife that we grab and get cut. At least love sweetens the bitterness of this strange thing we call life. This is definitely different, but it has a strong element of LB. You are like a black hole that has a huge gravitational force on all nearby objects including other poets!!! Fun!

  1. Date: 8/6/2013 2:58:00 PM
    hey, this reminds me a little of my tick tock poem's theme. VERY nicely collaborated, dear. Something of quality can take a long time. And that's just FINE!!

  1. Date: 8/6/2013 10:07:00 AM
    Donna dear... you guys have done good! Drake and I both know talent when we see it! LOL Hugs and much love, Jack xoxox

    Breidenthal Avatar Laura Breidenthal
    Date: 8/6/2013 3:56:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    HAhahaha! :) Thanks Jack! I was confused too! I thought "Donna dear" may have been some old expression or something! x) ~Laura
    Ellison Avatar Jack Ellison
    Date: 8/6/2013 11:15:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Where did Donna come from! LOL "LAURA DEAR!!!"
  1. Date: 8/5/2013 9:53:00 PM
    That damn "replay button". Strong & focused collab. Tremendous work!