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I Think My Wife Is A Vampire

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Below is the poem entitled I Think My Wife Is A Vampire which was written by poet Milton Toran. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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I Think My Wife Is A Vampire

I think my wife is a vampire,
My body shivers with fright;
For some apparent reason,
She stays up later at night!

Last week, she ordered a t-bone,
While I gazed in stunning awe;
She took one peek at the menu,
And wanted it nearly raw!

No longer a "bubbly" red head,
She's dyed her hair to black;
Freedom of expression's one thing,
But I don't want a heart attack!

Candles adorn the hallway,
My emotions are withdrawn;
She always wants to stay inside,
Fearing the break of dawn!

Eerie are the days before me,
Curiosity fails to escape;
Her clothes are dark and shabby,
And now she sports a cape!

I wanna make a stand,
To show the wife who's boss;
One question stirs inside of me,
I wonder if she fears a cross?

Changes right before my eyes,
What's happening to my honey?
Not only is she different,
Her voice sounds rather funny!

I want her to see a doctor,
My goal's to do what's right;
No longer does she kiss my neck,
Instead, she tries to bite!

She disappears in the mirror,
Her skin is white as snow;
What's happenin' to my sweetie?
She's lost that heavenly glow!

Maybe I'll call an exorcist,
My brain's in a fuzzy haze;
Is it just my imagination,
Or perhaps a silly phase?

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  1. Date: 8/29/2013 3:13:00 PM
    Your poems really get me smiling Milt, thank you so much for this early morning smile....Peter

  1. Date: 8/5/2013 11:37:00 AM
    This is a very entertaining write, Milton! I enjoyed reading it. Love, Kim