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Take Me

Laura Breidenthal Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Take Me which was written by poet Laura Breidenthal. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Take Me

They played reverse psychology with his mind He felt so stupid Like everything he had ever believed was a lie The auras are bad, we continued to say They are not good Test the spirits…test the spirits He went haywire He pushed away How could we blame him? His body was not his own Come to grips, we told him The doctors don’t understand But still we must not jump to conclusions You are strong; you have God The upper hand If I lift this bed will you think otherwise? Lift the entire world and I will see nothing of you You are nobody compared to him in my eyes Your wonders are for wonderment alone You wander and then you stay You prey prey prey Those that prey desire nourishment Those who prey lack strength And to grab onto the youngest Mistaking him for stupid and weak That is below everything unworthy That is just pathetic Whatever you are You are not him And surely not worthy of a line of acknowledgement You hurt my closest friend And it is on You will be the reason The fire of my claws flare You will be the very thing I will devour It preyed on his innocence It made itself his friend Acting the hero Burning him to nothing in the end Come to grips, we said No more writing No more imagination The auras are not good He is not good! Laura is not good! Life life life is not good! You prey on a sick, young boy You are messing with a demon like me! I will tear you to shreds for the next flaw you set fire to! Believe me I will hide more under the timbers And I will crawl out Spewing perversity and hate And drag you in with me True colors will surround you I realize you have the power To kill my loved one I stake alone I hand the burning torch to you And with fire surrounding me I spit and hiss Take me Take me instead I know you want all And all live in me You cannot turn down my offer Become me And I will destroy me

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  1. Date: 8/3/2013 7:33:00 PM
    A magnificent spectacle of heart & introspection. The rage is vivid with love as a backup here. Hard-hitting!!! Excellent job!

  1. Date: 8/3/2013 5:49:00 PM
    Whoah Daddy, this is great. Chilling and beautiful. I love the way you take control and threaten those that threaten your love. Fierce, demanding, and excellent. Bravo Laura Bravo!

  1. Date: 8/3/2013 10:52:00 AM
    Powerful rage beomes a valient shield of protection..this chilled me to the bone...last 3 lines superb. You are a master of the craft...

  1. Date: 8/3/2013 2:21:00 AM
    Laura, I agree with Chris, this is crazy-good. :) What an end-line.

  1. Date: 8/2/2013 11:04:00 PM
    wow! Laura, the colors do surround the inner voice. I know how one can lash out, with anger... and blame, and hiss, at the one we fear.. I don't know about you, but I wish I could take the place of the ones I love.. powerful, and deep... you are awesome... I can relate to some of the poem, .. well from what I got out of it... xox~ Linda

    Breidenthal Avatar Laura Breidenthal
    Date: 8/2/2013 11:14:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks PD! You understand me perfectly. You are very fun to read, though I may not comprehend every line of yours entirely. Glad you got something out of this one. ~Laura
  1. Date: 8/2/2013 10:45:00 PM
    Whoa....wot an intense read. The entire poem is very intense. The phantasmagoria of it all just leaps off the page. I don't even know everything going on here, and as the reader, I am probably not even supposed to know. Simply leave it to mystery. This is crazy....crazy, crazy-good!

    Breidenthal Avatar Laura Breidenthal
    Date: 8/2/2013 11:12:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks so much. Made a couple of edits and added to it. You are so cool Chris! ~Laura