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Dead Babies

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Below is the poem entitled Dead Babies which was written by poet kathryn ramirez. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Dead Babies

Dead Babies

 I just swallow the pain down and paint on a smile
 I go on to getting on, and pretend to be normal for a while.
 it never works for long but, at least they can't see.
 just exactly what not knowing you has done to me
 maybe it would be different had I brought you home,
 or maybe they'd understand if you had met them, or had a 
headstone.
 but the truth is, this sadness.... well it solely belongs to me
 No one in the world mourns lost babies they didn't see.
 I didn't see you either, but I felt you move inside.
 I did see your image on the screen, as the doctor said you'd 
died
 the heartbeats they listened for, they never played out loud,
 all I have to show of you is a pic of a shadow, of that I am 
proud.
 I broke down today, I cursed and hurt someone I love dear
 they couldn't drop the subject and didn't understand how bad 
I wish you were here.
 I do not like this person that I have become nor, this bitterness 
that I have turned into,
 But, I keep swallowing my grief, because I can not bare to 
think or speak of you.
 some mommy I am huh? I can't even hear your name without 
losing my damn mind.
 I am so sorry to all four of my dead babies, but peace with this 
I can not find

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  1. Date: 3/16/2014 9:03:00 PM
    abortion huh? i dnt understand why women get sorrowful when it was there choice ooo well

    ramirez Avatar kathryn ramirez
    Date: 3/16/2014 9:16:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    I have never nor will ever have/had an abortion. My Babies (4) died inside me.... I wanted them
  1. Date: 7/18/2013 7:48:00 AM
    Thanks for sharing this. I, too, have experienced this... after 13 years of infertility, I had a miscarriage. It was beyond heartbreaking. The hospital was cold, nurses and doctors would not refer to my child as a 'baby,' no matter that I called my unborn a baby. I ended up having a private ceremony in a park... honouring my child, I wrote him a letter and then set it aflame, watching as the smoke blended into the stars. This really helped me. I spent hours sending up love. (cont)

    ramirez Avatar kathryn ramirez
    Date: 7/18/2013 8:12:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thank you for your kind words, support and visit.... I will stop by and read your work. this is just one of my many bitter rants in poetic form but it is real. I am blessed enough to have two boys living and well but still mourn the loss of my other children who never were born. I struggle frequently about why it is socially acceptable to suggest replacing a lost baby to a grieving mother. thanks for visiting and leaving kind words, Katei
    MacMillan Avatar Cyndi MacMillan
    Date: 7/18/2013 8:07:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Last ----- http://www.poetrysoup.com/poems_poets/poem_detail.aspx?ID=346332 My Hallowed Vase, a poem you may relate to ... my first on here is called Angel Baby... anyways must fly, writing does help. Don't pull the punches, let it all out. There are those here who truly understand. Take care, Cyndi
    MacMillan Avatar Cyndi MacMillan
    Date: 7/18/2013 8:02:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    #6 http://www.poetrysoup.com/poems_poets/poem_detail.aspx?ID=395420 This poem is called Silent Cry. It is about my own experience... I have had another soup poet say that this poem helped because it echoed her experience, made her feel less alone
    MacMillan Avatar Cyndi MacMillan
    Date: 7/18/2013 7:59:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    #5-- a local woman who had lost a child in a miscarriage felt exactly the way you do and she turned her pain into something beautiful. Because of her, there is an annual butterfly release at a cemetery for those babes lost who were never born... a recognition of the fact the loss is PROFOUND and that a small soul will always be missed and remembered...
    MacMillan Avatar Cyndi MacMillan
    Date: 7/18/2013 7:56:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    #4-- I can tell you that for me the bitterness did come to an end... that I healed emotionally but there will always be a hole there. I have a daughter, now. I am 46- soon to be 47 and she is only 4. I still ache for that child, will tell my girl one day about her brother...
    MacMillan Avatar Cyndi MacMillan
    Date: 7/18/2013 7:53:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    #3-- What you really want to hear from friends: I am here for you, day or night, your emotions are justified and I am hurting FOR and WITH you, I believe in Heaven and that your child lives both in your heart and in a better place, It is okay to be angry, to question, to scream at walls....
    MacMillan Avatar Cyndi MacMillan
    Date: 7/18/2013 7:50:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    I also had a confrontation with a friend. Many say things like, "Oh, at least you now know you can get pregnant" or "God knows best" or "You can try again" Not understanding that THAT child has been taken and your loss is REAL and SIGNIFICANT and no child will replace the one lost....
  1. Date: 7/17/2013 9:02:00 PM
    Your poems are so emotionally honest and go straight to the heart. The only conclusion I can draw from them is that you must have a beautiful soul. Thank you for sharing. I hope you have a peaceful night.

    ramirez Avatar kathryn ramirez
    Date: 7/17/2013 9:12:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thank you so much! your words are too kind. I appreciate the visit, Katei
  1. Date: 7/17/2013 6:11:00 PM
    this touches me so much, I know this pain you describe, please read my poem 'double phantasy' hugs :) charlotte

    ramirez Avatar kathryn ramirez
    Date: 7/17/2013 8:25:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    I will for sure, Thank you for Visiting mine. this pain is so commonly felt but so socially ignored. Katei