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MILDEWED EXPECTATIONS

Suzette Richards Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled MILDEWED EXPECTATIONS which was written by poet Suzette Richards. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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MILDEWED EXPECTATIONS

The rose colour of your mouth stirs something primordial inside of me – I smile along with you. Plump little hands reach for my face. I hold still while you explore my heart with a feathery touch.
When you are asleep, I look over the papers of your collage fund. We could make it if we would forsake frivolities. It will be no hardship for me to do so. I smile contentedly. The boxer puppy lying at my feet; quite content– its stomach pink and extended: he ate too greedily (as usual). You will grow up together and share our unconditional love. The cricket bat, signed by the national team, takes pride of place in its brackets on your bedroom wall – a pale dove blue (matching the colour of your eyes). A gift from your dad – sure that you would follow in his footsteps. A rainbow of possibilities prostrate at your feet.
I check every now and again whether you are breathing. Sleeping soundly, neither a frown upon your smooth face, nor a care in the world. Your long, black eyelashes quiver slightly, as though following a dream – a dream we all shared: a dream of boundless expectations …
************** Exhuming long forgotten memories; mingling with my fevered tears – echoing my breaking heart. They lead you away. Assaulting the arresting officer had sealed your fate.
Mildewed expectations best laid to rest together with the memories of you.
The sky has lost its colour, as I step outside the courtroom. Inspired by: Closer By Chris Aechtner “If frozen within caged snapshots of mildewed expectations” 3 July 2013 Sponsor Debbie Guzzi Contest Name Referential

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  1. Date: 7/18/2013 2:36:00 PM
    Big Congrad's on your fine work taking the top spot! I have written so many about my son try The Melt Down. Light & Love

  1. Date: 7/17/2013 4:45:00 PM
    powerfully inked with tinges of softness and melancholia... big cheers to you for your spectaular win, su..;) huggs

  1. Date: 7/17/2013 1:39:00 PM
    Congrats on your winning work..Sara

  1. Date: 7/17/2013 3:30:00 AM
    Oh Su...From the very first line I was sucked in and completely mesmerized by this gem...So hearbreaking and beautifully written...The last two lines add a stunning finality to it...When you can, please read 'The Door to Forever' that I wrote for Drake's contest...It is on the same subject as yours and was a very tough poem for me to write...Congratulations my friend - Tim

  1. Date: 7/17/2013 2:24:00 AM
    Oh dear...oh dear....oh dear...WOW! This is awesome!!! Congrats, Su. Beautiful beyond description...We can't help but expect the best from our kids....My 18 year old is the light of my life. :) I'm trying to find that winning poem here....having problems with the site. Hugs

  1. Date: 7/16/2013 10:57:00 PM
    One of the best pieces here, Su, so emotive and so well expressed, love!!

  1. Date: 7/16/2013 5:45:00 PM
    This is amazing, Su......it strikes a nerve of sadness and loss ! Excellent poem, and well deserved win!

  1. Date: 7/13/2013 9:39:00 AM
    Breathtaking story of broken expectations. Beautiful, haunting and tragic... your poetic skill is stunning. chills radiated through as I read every line.. Going into my faves.

    Richards Avatar Suzette Richards
    Date: 7/13/2013 10:46:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thank you for the accolade, Karen.
  1. Date: 7/4/2013 11:49:00 AM
    *cont'd* -- And it is literally done so. Within your poem, the stanzas are like snapshots. The reader(or at least I did)moves along the snapshots, into a very emotive finale. This makes for a great effect. Obviously our lives are different, so our "mildewed expectations" are different, but as I already mentioned, I really like how you took wot was purposefully condensed for me, and re-enlarged it for yourself. You did great with this poem! I am going to fave it.

    Richards Avatar Suzette Richards
    Date: 7/4/2013 12:11:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thank you for the feedback, Chris. I am always nervous when it comes to elaborating (as I did here - you are correct) upon someone's work. I loved your poem and reread it several times - It is now on my Fav list. Love, Su
    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner
    Date: 7/4/2013 11:51:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    I suppose it could be seen as being egotistical to fave a poem with my name added in the footnotes -- Ha! Nah, I enjoy when these experiences happen. If someone has a poem which inspires a poem of my own, I enjoy letting the poet know.
  1. Date: 7/4/2013 11:42:00 AM
    I love wot you did here, Su. Ok, unless writing haiku, I can be a rambler, so here goes. With my poem "Closer", I took 'huge' thoughts and memories(snapshots), and condensed them down into metaphor, etc. Some of the largest thoughts were only given a line; a few words. I overcome the mildewed expectations, end-off positively. Wot you did(at least for me -- I could be wrong about your intended purpose), is you took one of those condensed sections and enlarged it back into its own photo album.

  1. Date: 7/4/2013 10:26:00 AM
    wow, this is outstanding poetry, dear. Is it true?? About the courtroom? One of your best ever. Fave.

    Richards Avatar Suzette Richards
    Date: 7/4/2013 10:42:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thank you for the accolade, Andrea. Love, Su