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Preventable

Richard Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux - LIFETIME Premium Member Richard Lamoureux - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Preventable which was written by poet Richard Lamoureux. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Preventable

My eyelids droop my head begins to nod
I am struggling hard to stay awake
On a long drive in the pouring rain 
I feel I am being hypnotized 

I am struggling hard to stay awake
I turn the air conditioning on full blast
I feel like I am being hypnotized 
I will just close my eyes for a moment

I turn the air conditioning on full blast
Taking my hand off the wheel I slap my face
I will just close my eyes for a moment
As my car drifts I awake with a start

Taking my hand off the wheel I slap my face
I must be mad yet I need to get home
As my car drifts I awake with a start
I am no longer traveling on the road 

I must be mad yet I need to get home
The car is now beyond my control
I am no longer traveling on the road
In this moment there are no more choices

The car is now beyond my control
On a long drive in the pouring rain
In this moment there are no more choices
My eyelids droop my head begins to nod

On a long drive in the pouring rain
My life blood pours from my veins
My eyelids droop my head begins to nod
My life slowly yet quickly ebbs away


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  1. Date: 7/6/2013 9:15:00 AM
    Scary thoughts that you have penned..I hope not a happening in your life but just a work about the topic..Thanks for the visit to my work..Your opinion is important to me..Sara

  1. Date: 7/6/2013 7:11:00 AM
    Hi Rick!!! Theres such an intense feeling, reading each line, wondering whats next, really gets the heart pumping lol just a fantastic read, preventable. Its a honest truth, to not drive, when in that condition. a vital message in this poem!!! I also love your form of writing....a fascinating, joy to read....cheriex

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 7/6/2013 7:32:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks Cherie, the poem I wrote for you is a modification of this form.
  1. Date: 7/3/2013 1:35:00 PM
    wow, this is a powerful one, my friend. You are a poet to be reckoned with . GREAT use of poetry to get across an important message.

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 7/3/2013 4:38:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks Andrea. Hugs Rick
  1. Date: 7/3/2013 8:25:00 AM
    Powerful write Rick! The need to get home will never be realized....so sad. We all experienced this feeling, awesome job putting it into words. Hugs

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 7/3/2013 8:47:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks Cecilia, hugs Rick
  1. Date: 7/3/2013 4:20:00 AM
    I've always wanted to write in this form Richard. You have tackled such a dark and familiar scene with this one. Really impressive work.....Love Roobs xxx

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 7/3/2013 5:25:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    You should give it a try, I am sure you would do well.
  1. Date: 7/2/2013 9:33:00 PM
    I hate it when this happens..getting so sleepy driving...you captured the experience well..let's hope we pull over before the last line..great job Richard

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 7/2/2013 9:34:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    I use to drive a lot for work, I hate this feeling.
  1. Date: 7/2/2013 3:48:00 PM
    This sadly happens everyday.Well done.I posted one for PD.Love Colleen

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 7/2/2013 9:15:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Good job on the poem Colleen.
  1. Date: 7/2/2013 1:11:00 PM
    wow, you are really good in Pantoum form. You should have stopped for a while.. I wrote something may be I was little frustrated over some people behavior, read and let me know how you felt.

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 7/2/2013 9:15:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks Manel.
  1. Date: 7/2/2013 12:44:00 PM
    Hi Richard waht imagery you conjour with your pen, really enjoyed this, all the best Poetowen

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 7/2/2013 9:16:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks Owen, always nice to hear from you.
  1. Date: 7/2/2013 12:12:00 PM
    wonderful drizzle of images taps this page, richard... incredibly done!..;) huggs

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 7/2/2013 9:17:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks Nette, hugs back to you
  1. Date: 7/2/2013 8:14:00 AM
    WOW, Rick!! I know how difficult this form is, yet you made it look easy. Great topic choice as well.

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 7/2/2013 9:20:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Apparently the form is supposed to be obscure but I really like it. I also enjoy the terzanelle. If not for the soup I would be unfamiliar with all forms. This place has been my poetic Education.
  1. Date: 7/2/2013 7:24:00 AM
    Haven't we all experienced this dangerous phenomenon . Long distances with the obstinate determination to arrive ETA. The consequences could be disasterous. You have predicted this well in this Pantoum.

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 7/2/2013 7:31:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    I had a friend who worked late fell asleep and drove into the back of a parked car. Fortunately he was okay.
  1. Date: 7/2/2013 3:55:00 AM
    May there NEVER happen to you, Richard. It truly disturbed me. Stay safe...drive carefully.....

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 7/2/2013 6:18:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    No worries I will be careful.