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Breeze part one

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Below is the poem entitled Breeze part one which was written by poet Rebel Poet. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Breeze part one

She's like the breeze that puts me on ease
As she massages my sixteen degrees 
Of darkness she pleases every pigment of melanin in my skin
With her cores time is limitless, yes I must confess
For even if time had a limit, I would love her until my last breath
Covered in righteousness to the universe may I express?
That my love for her is the greatest, by becoming a beam of light
So bright that the blind would gain sight, the Sun would recite 
Sweet lullabies to the Moon in the night!

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  1. Date: 11/1/2013 10:15:00 AM
    I know this feeling well, I have found my breeze and she has permeated all parts of my being. Off to part two.

  1. Date: 6/22/2013 6:05:00 PM
    This is very nice ;}

  1. Date: 6/18/2013 1:59:00 PM
    A nice one Hakim, a lovely beam passing through your poem. a beautiful verse... Linda

    Poet Avatar Rebel Poet
    Date: 6/18/2013 3:30:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Hey Linda, This was actually my first serious poem before that I actually didn't think my writing was good at all. Thanks for the love
  1. Date: 6/12/2013 8:29:00 PM
    On to the next part. ...man, you really burn. I love reciting your work aloud. Nice rhythm to it!!

    Poet Avatar Rebel Poet
    Date: 6/13/2013 5:42:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    That means a lot! thank you for your positive feed back!