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NOAHS ARK

Denise Hopkins Avatar Denise Hopkins - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled NOAHS ARK which was written by poet Denise Hopkins. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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NOAHS ARK

written 9th June 2013


As all the paired animals, were boarded onto the Ark
 Noah, with his final list, ticked them off as a simple task

No one saw, the two flies go pass
 sneaking aboard under a golden mane, on a horse with class

While the flies were free to roam
 eventually starting their journey on home

When they finally, got to the top of the Ark
 looking for there home, but nothing could be seen in the dark

Since that day, that they were stowaways
 arrogantly, believing humans stole them that day 

And have vowed, since that day as "we are to blame
 humans would have to pay, terrorizing us "even still today

The secret I've heard is they were never even invited onto the ark
 all who were on the list, voted if the flies be added to the task

Not to Noah's surprise, they were a pest and for the "entire time
  not "one vote did they receive, no, not from one single mind

They would never again return back to their homeland
  everyone disappointed, think "wouldn't our summer's be grand


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  1. Date: 7/19/2013 9:48:00 PM
    Hi Denise, I have re read the Noah's Ark story and apart from a couple of misspelt words, the poem/story is extremely good, congrats are in order, you are learning fast to become a respected poet. Your dear friend. John PS: the words were:(Is) they were never, should be As they were never, the other word was (bored) the ark, should be board the ark, I hope this helps you.

  1. Date: 6/22/2013 11:22:00 PM
    I read your request for critique: This is an interesting poem with a cute theme incorporating an age old Bible story. I like your use of rhyme and playful language. I am not sure if you accidentally labelled your poem a sonnet? Although it has elements of a sonnet, sonnets contain fourteen lines, and are known for being written in 'iambic pentameter.' Which means, that each line needs to have five pairs of unstressed and stressed syllables. Video tutorials are a great resource - keep writing!