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Confessions of a Grammar Nazi

Timothy Hicks Avatar Timothy Hicks - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Confessions of a Grammar Nazi which was written by poet Timothy Hicks. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Confessions of a Grammar Nazi

I know the fact that it's Facebook
it somehow gives you an excuse not to abide
by even the most basic of grammar rules.
And I admit seeing an apostrophe
where it's not needed kills me a bit inside.
But, alas, I will restrain myself
from starting any spelling duels.
The truth is you just wouldn't win,
not even the slightest chance.
And even if you did there would be
no satisfaction on your behalf.
It would always come back again
to the same redundant dance;
me - taking the time to voice my message clearly,
and you having a big hair-pulling laugh.
It's true, there is a great deal of time saved,
cutting the words short and omitting punctuation.
But by God it's like throwing away
years of hard-earned education!
I wouldn't mind writing like a five-year-old
(aside from the fact I'm almost twenty).
Some say it's nothing to fret about -
isn't the rest of the world's problems plenty?
The fact is writing is one of the few things
I can keep in order
(Lord knows my room doesn't fit the bill!).
So if by chance you find yourself,
staring zombie-eyed Into a computer screen,
with extra time to fill,
I hope that you will remember your I before E except C's,
that you will recall the three different there's of English.
Maybe someday you too will join
this small club of Grammar Nazis.
Perhaps you'll find there's more to words
than just ink on a page...
For you have the whole world within you,
first step is too climb out of your cage.

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  1. Date: 5/21/2013 5:08:00 PM

    Well said Tim, I've been off line for the past 2 1/2 weeks. So it's good to be reading today ;}

    Hicks Avatar Timothy Hicks Date: 5/21/2013 11:09:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks for checking me out tonight :) And welcome back to the Soup!
  1. Date: 5/13/2013 11:40:00 PM

    hello Tim: I tried to post a reply from my smartphone today and I punched the Capcha Code in over and over but it wouldn't register....so smartphone? I don't think so...LOL .... what I tried to say is you are awesome...you are 20 going on 60 mentally and that's a compliment LOL SuZ

    Hicks Avatar Timothy Hicks Date: 5/14/2013 2:12:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Those Capcha Codes can be a real *insert word here*, can't they? I don't mind being called old-fashioned... not when the new-fashion looks as it does... lol. Pleased you could get pass my "Nazi-ish" ways... haha.
  1. Date: 5/12/2013 1:40:00 PM

    I'll do my best to get it right for you Tim, don't want you imploding lol. Good write but in my experience there are those that just, 'do not get it', where the written word is concerned. You have to be lenient sometimes. Take care, Richard

    Hicks Avatar Timothy Hicks Date: 5/12/2013 10:26:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Once again... you are right. Some of my greatest friends will never hope to click with writing. Not simply with creating the words, but even appreciating what the words are saying... well we are all created differently so I guess I shouldn't complain. I should be happy we're not all the same (what fun would that be?).
  1. Date: 5/12/2013 1:10:00 PM

    Amen! Terry

    Hicks Avatar Timothy Hicks Date: 5/12/2013 10:24:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Pleased you liked, Terry :)
  1. Date: 5/12/2013 12:45:00 PM

    Ha! All my friends call me a Grammar Nazi too. What's so hard about spelling things correctly? It's rather annoying. Lol! Good poem!

    Hicks Avatar Timothy Hicks Date: 5/12/2013 10:23:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I have one friend that is so confusing it's almost impossible to get any message through via text. Won't even know what she was talking about until I meet up with her again, in person. Lol...
  1. Date: 5/12/2013 6:52:00 AM

    I'm a Grammar Nazi, but a spelling kamakazi! Is there hope for me? BTW...I found a mistake or two here, my dear...Shall I enumerate? ;) Great write...great concept...AND...YOU AREN'T TWENTY YET?????? Seriously???? WOW! You could be one of my students! I teach two college courses, my dear. Well...age has nothing to do with wisdom, honesty, or love...so.... :)

    Hicks Avatar Timothy Hicks Date: 5/12/2013 8:12:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Haha... well I'll be honest I'm a bit hypocritical when it comes to this subject. For the MOST part I'm better at grammar than the average person. It's mainly things like Facebook, where I find people very confusing to understand. Just because it's "quick communication" doesn't mean you have to look completely stupid.
    Ghali Avatar Eileen Ghali Date: 5/12/2013 6:54:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    As for punctuation...go on...punctuate this: woman without her man is a savage HEE HEE! Love to use this in class. If you are feminist...you will know how it is done. If you are a masculine chauvinist...(you aren't, are you?)...you will play around with the punctuation to fit you ideology! Get back to me, dear.
  1. Date: 5/12/2013 5:17:00 AM

    I love this poem! There is so much to be said for a well-turned phrase, and the entire meaning of a sentence can be changed by one misplaced comma. I want to be a member of your club.

    Hicks Avatar Timothy Hicks Date: 5/12/2013 8:09:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Application accepted... lol.