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Invisible - Home

David William Breidenthal Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Invisible - Home which was written by poet David William Breidenthal. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Invisible - Home

Under the stars
Beneath the cement
I cry in discontent…caught in the web of lament
Under the moon
Under the water
I feel like a delicate infant…I’m hungry for your attention
Not your damn resent! 
I’m lying around…waiting for your bliss
To take me Home
For I’m too downright distressed
To pick myself off my feet…I’m sick and depressed
I need a bed to rest on…
I need a shoulder to lay my head on…
I need covers to keep me warm and safe
I need Your love to keep me motivated to move on…
I need shelter…before I swelter... 
I’m torn in shreds…
I feel so unsafe…in this shady cave
I feel the need for a savior…could He save me… 
Free me…
Take me away from
M-my lonesome dorm?

Will he lead me somewhere peaceful?
Somewhere tranquil? 
Somewhere plentiful?
Somewhere surreal?

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  1. Date: 4/30/2013 7:57:00 AM
    Reading through your work-- you are talented. This one is very poignant. And.. the answer to all those final questions.. yes He will :)

  1. Date: 4/29/2013 5:36:00 PM
    You are such an interesting poet. Sorry for the pain that inspired this. There are no easy answers are there? Good luck in this quest. From what I see, you will find a wonderful niche. There is a lot to explore and also many rejections to face before nirvana.

    Breidenthal Avatar David William Breidenthal
    Date: 4/29/2013 5:57:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Your encouraging comment uplifts my soul! Thank you, good sir and yep - depression inspired me to write this...it's such a misfortune, yah know? -DWB
  1. Date: 4/29/2013 12:36:00 PM
    Passionate from the title through the end. Very inspirational lament of deep needs.

    Breidenthal Avatar David William Breidenthal
    Date: 5/10/2013 9:39:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks. I'm flattered!:) I liked how you worded your last sentence. These lines are filled with a sense of lament and sorrow. Hope it didn't discourage you. xD -DWB