After planking some wood,
I carried it across the yard,
two boards at a time upon my shoulders.
When I finished erecting the stack of wood,
she offered a refreshing sip from her cup
and nailed me harder than Jesus had been.
(the irony of the wood and nails didn't escape me)
I figure this to be a great tradition to uphold
during the Easter holidays:
the wood and nails,
riding a divine ascension into heaven
upon her thighs.
And on the third day
he rose again
*This is referring to the hybridization of Easter as decreed by Constantine,
and the pre-existing Ishtar celebration of sex and fertility.
Ishtar is the root-origin of the word: Easter.
If you were to ask me, I'd say that Constantine attempted ruining a good thing.
It is one of my many life goals to help resurrect feel-good Pagan celebrations such
as the Ishtar Spring Festivities.
If one has a willing lover, this celebration is easy to partake in,
and can be most pleasurable: simply plank some wood and start nailing.
A sustained rhythm is highly advisable when engaging in a good session of nailing.
Happy Ishtar/Easter Holy Days!