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Remembering My First KO

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Below is the poem entitled Remembering My First KO which was written by poet Caleb Smith. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Remembering My First KO

A breaking branch
And clear sky in my vison
The sensaton of falling is not a sensation...
I'm falling
A dull thud reminds me to where
Vague screams sound more like lullabies
While my back becomes oddly warm
I think before slipping into dark calm...
"I hope that's not my blood."
But my fading consciousness assures me
That it is

Sleep ... minutes ... hours pass?

I wake in a tub filled with bloody water
I tell myself I'm dreaming
A nightmare
But then I remember the concrete pillow I went to sleep on
There are people around
Like music in a grocery store
And I hear a questioning word...
Then a familiar voice...
"Naw, he's fine."
Which I found funny for some reason
And gave a thumbs up before I grinned
and slumped
Back into my red bath of distant dreams

*Second KO coming soon...

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  1. Date: 4/27/2013 2:36:00 AM
    You really know how to take us there, Caleb. I didn't feel as though as I was reading so much as someone was telling me a story. A very interesting tale and makes me wonder what started the fight...

  1. Date: 3/27/2013 11:52:00 AM
    Gee i didn t know what ko is..foolish me..i read andie s comment and found the answer..I reread it and i hope its a creative fiction of yours

  1. Date: 3/21/2013 11:53:00 AM
    The "naw he's fine" totally reminds me of my dad saying that same phrase (except a 'she' in there) when i was KO'd after falling of my horse down a rocky ditch..LOL awesome write, not circumstance...onto the next 1

  1. Date: 3/19/2013 8:34:00 AM
    Awesome writing, Caleb! I love the fragmented feel to this poem - like you're taking us in and out of consciousness with you. Very cool!

  1. Date: 3/18/2013 3:01:00 PM
    hahaha, I had to google KO to see what it meant!! I should have guessed knockout, but I didn't. This is really awesome. You can write about anything, Caleb!! So you had two BIG KO's, huh? Can't wait to read about the next one. Oh, and I love how you said "the concrete pillow"