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Sorrow - fixed, orgininal was terribly off form

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Below is the poem entitled Sorrow - fixed, orgininal was terribly off form which was written by poet wayland bunch. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Sorrow - fixed, orgininal was terribly off form

Light fades fast into darkness, forever a word of past
Hope hides helpless now, in the midst of this turmoil
Lost lonely sorrow, no pleasure, how long can I last 

Better days will come, to this it's taught stay steadfast
Covered by black storm clouds, faith continues loyal
Light fades fast into darkness, forever a word of past

Happiness of youth, an idea we once encompassed
Time moves fast making body, soul and heart spoil
Lost lonely sorrow, no pleasure, how long can I last

A day or reckoning If the soul can endure and outlast
We look, examine our lives, many, sadly left to recoil
Light fades fast into darkness, forever a word of past

To one end, weak or strong, a shadow we must cast
For that purpose, all strive, search, conspire and toil
Lost lonely sorrow, no pleasure, how long can I last 





I just had to fix this poem. I was searching for something and saw how badly it was off form. 

Finding meaning in life, a quest that has turned vast
However it's always elusive, at times angers to a boil
Light fades fast into darkness, forever a word of past
Lost lonely sorrow, no pleasure, how long can I last



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  1. Date: 3/23/2013 12:05:00 AM
    Wayland, I will have to review the rules of this form but to me it is reading well!! I see you enjoy darker topics for this form. You are right on point. When I studied this form in a home poetry course, they said that this is best used for sad or dark poems!

  1. Date: 3/15/2013 1:01:00 PM
    Hello; I don't think we ever read eachother's poems. I'm glad that you read mine. I was surprised that you read spanish. That's good. I have a lot of Spanish poems, but don't know what to do with them. me da gusto que te guste el Espanol. pienso que aqui has escrito un poema muy bonito. Te felicito.... Lucilla