haiku 33 by Debbie Guzzi

Timothy Hicks

Date: 3/18/2013 12:45:00 AM

I absolutely love writing and reading haiku. This particular one can go in many different ways. I see the sugar as a metaphor, how it makes your porridge just a little sweeter, the snow makes your morning just a bit better as well. And the contrast between cold snow and a warm breakfast is a neat literary tool to really put the reader in the situation of the haiku. This makes me think you feel something very special and endearing towards snowflakes.

Annalise Brigham

Date: 2/12/2013 4:30:00 PM

I'm still learning, Deb!! I read Caleb's comment. Thank you, always! Love, Annalise

Carrie Richards

Date: 2/12/2013 11:51:00 AM

This is brilliant.......and a lovely connection.The sugar and the snow...can see them both, lovely! I am still learning from you.....and did some revision on my own entry. And...a soupmail for you!

craig cornish

Date: 2/12/2013 6:53:00 AM

After reading, my thoughts were similar to calebs--going to revisit mine

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 2/10/2013 11:15:00 PM

I likes this one: the contrast of hot porridge with cold snow outside!

Sara Kendrick

Date: 2/9/2013 4:30:00 PM

Since I am not sure but think that porridge is oatmeal that would represent old dirty snow the dusting of sugar would be maybe powdered sugar which would be fresh white snow.You are comparing your morning cereal or food to the new snow outside?.I did not really get an ahHa though.I hope that you continue to have power.I know that it must be hard to be without power and glad that you are on the grid.I hope that you get to get out soon provided that you want to get out.Thanks for stopping by..Sara

harry horsman

Date: 2/9/2013 8:13:00 AM

hi Debbie , not an expert, but i like what i see..

Mehnaz Veetil

Date: 2/9/2013 3:49:00 AM

the leap as well as the juxtaposition to lead on the reader's mind is amazing,,, loved it Debbie

Caleb Smith

Date: 2/8/2013 1:59:00 PM

Ok, so its not 5-7-5, which is ok as long as you have short, long, short...17 syllables or less...right? Unless one speaks Japanese...then I suppose the rules are not so much rules as they are guidelines. And the cutting line is great...it does not continue the second line, but cuts it. Also you eat porridge for breakfast...hence the morning...and snow is the sugar... giving another meaning...like snow would dust the morning ground (porridge).

Debbie Guzzi Date: 2/8/2013 4:54:00 PM

great job Caleb getting the relationship between the falling sugar and the falling snow & yes I was eating oatmeal watching the snow fall SO though there is a simile in the readers MIND..not in my words but in the leap..between the two images

Ann Roske

Date: 2/8/2013 12:11:00 PM

oohh - I like this one Debbie!

kash poet

Date: 2/8/2013 8:58:00 AM

I am finding here the same what Eileen has commented below.Good one.

Debbie Guzzi Date: 2/8/2013 9:18:00 AM

ah but you know even more and are not saying it

Eileen Ghali

Date: 2/8/2013 6:33:00 AM

I think it's wonderful, Debbie! The Aha moment comes in the last line where one understands that this is an analogy. The porridge symbolizes the brown earth and the sugar the snow. Very nice way to lead the mind! I really really liked it! I know that the first line is to be 5 syllables the middle 7 and the last 5...you haven't kept strictly to that...are you alluding to that in your question? I'm enthralled!

Eileen Ghali Date: 2/8/2013 6:48:00 AM

Debbie...thanks for the explanation! Learned something new! I love learning! You are a good teacher! My Haikus don't quite have that cutting edge between line 2 and 3....Will see if I can incorporate that. It's a new one for me! Hugs! BTW...I do love the actual dusting of sugar on my REAL PORRIDGE so I'm a gonner on this one! ;)

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haiku 33

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