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A Life Lost

Mehnaz Veetil Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled A Life Lost which was written by poet Mehnaz Veetil. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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A Life Lost

A Life Lost


    blue ocean waters
jewel- like fishes abode
   old sucker -cat dies..




*my sweet n brave goldy(golden sucker cat fish)dies of white spot disease . :-(

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  1. Date: 2/2/2013 10:37:00 AM

    Nice Haiku... Nicely written! Thank you for your comments! Blessing to you!

    Veetil Avatar Mehnaz Veetil Date: 2/5/2013 10:28:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    thanks Jim
  1. Date: 1/31/2013 9:10:00 AM

    Wonderful haiku caught with nice observation. Thanks for your comment on my write. Loved always, bl

    Veetil Avatar Mehnaz Veetil Date: 2/1/2013 7:07:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    thanks devnath
  1. Date: 1/29/2013 7:31:00 PM

    I like the direction you took this, sorry about the cat fish though.

    Veetil Avatar Mehnaz Veetil Date: 1/29/2013 11:08:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    thanks Richard, I think you got what I took on...I looked from general to specific....ocean to fish tank, the reverse order actually...
  1. Date: 1/29/2013 8:51:00 AM

    oh so sad your fish died...hate that disease. Thanks for sharing and thanks for stopping by. Have a good day always! Hugs, Maria

    Veetil Avatar Mehnaz Veetil Date: 1/29/2013 11:06:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    thanks Maria...
  1. Date: 1/29/2013 7:28:00 AM

    Okies new friend now that I know what you were going for...[first 5/7/5 is fine..it's less of a problem than subjective content and a lack of two part,so, do 5/7/5 if you want] you have a better chance at a good haiku if you write it from an actual experience. haiku writters often carry a small notebook and daily LOOK for inspiring things or surprising things in nature to write about. So it was a great thing you were writing from your immediate feelings and not all memory.

    Veetil Avatar Mehnaz Veetil Date: 1/29/2013 11:03:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks Debbie for your valuable comments....my beginner haikus...yes, it was an instant write...I enjoy writing haikus and I value your inputs,thanks ....
    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 1/29/2013 7:34:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    my golden fish dies/ in the bowl he lived in--rainfalls outside [here I gave the reader the image you SAW, and by adding a believable image of rain outside..I have lent sorrow and the illusion of tears, we know the fish is in a glass bowl, can see through it and can picture it sitting in a window]
    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 1/29/2013 7:34:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    even though this may not be the real scene it is believable. It is not believable that an ocean is there though we could work to make it so..
  1. Date: 1/29/2013 4:36:00 AM

    Sorry to hear of your fish dying..Sometimes if one notices in time there is some treatment for them..I enjoy watching fish in a tank but then sometimes I think that it might be not good for them to be penned up like that..Great Haiku topic and great presentation..Enjoyed reading this morning..Thanks for stopping by..Sara

    Veetil Avatar Mehnaz Veetil Date: 1/29/2013 11:05:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Iam glad you liked it...
    Veetil Avatar Mehnaz Veetil Date: 1/29/2013 11:04:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks a lot Sara...I appreciate your comments...
  1. Date: 1/28/2013 7:41:00 PM

    WEre you keeping him in a pond? or a fish bowl? Interesting to see someone who had a pet fish!!

    Veetil Avatar Mehnaz Veetil Date: 1/28/2013 10:23:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    in a fish tank...thanks for the visit Andrea
  1. Date: 1/28/2013 7:33:00 PM

    Mehnaz, poor cat.. was he reaching in? a good haiku... Take care . Have yourself a good night :-) always~ LINDA

    Veetil Avatar Mehnaz Veetil Date: 1/28/2013 10:24:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    ...thanks for the visit ,Linda....
  1. Date: 1/28/2013 6:23:00 PM

    don't capitalize, was this your fish in a fish tank? let me know what you were really looking at..Light & Love

    Veetil Avatar Mehnaz Veetil Date: 1/28/2013 10:28:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks Debbie I shall modify it...the golden sucker -cat-fish died in the fish tank after years of quiet life...he was a nice one ....thanks for the visit....