You Had No Reason To Pull Me Over
By Elton Camp
It gave poor Fred quite a fright
A siren and a flashing blue light
He was certain he wasn’t speeding
And that other laws he was heeding
He was only trying to get to work
Now to be hassled by that jerk
Fred buzzed the window down
As the swaggering cop came around
“What is this? I wasn’t doing a thing.”
To the cop’s lips, a sneer did spring
“Pal, that’s exactly what they all say.
That I shouldn’t be doing ‘em this way.”
“Your brother, a senator well may be
But that doesn’t mean a thing to me.”
“And I know my salary comes from you.
I’ve already heard that one plenty, too.”
“Your were driving with a phone to your ear.
To road’s center and edge you came near.”
“A cheeseburger is clutched in your right hand.
Between your knees, a drink cup does stand.”
“In your left hand you are holding a French fry.
To control your vehicle it is impossible to try.”
Your seat belt and shoulder strap hang loose
For these safety violations, there is no excuse
“I’ll list all the charges you will face
When the judge will hear your case.”