October 21st 2007
Thoughts – Moneca .
The past has come around to dominate again.
It has brought me into a lesser place then before.
Upon wings of time’s passing, drift memories, ecstasies, experiences of joy to delight – light up my soul, fill my empty, fragile heart with lost hopes and dreams.
Gloomy days have befallen us, darker days upon me.
Those beautiful sunny days, seemed to have faded away.
Dreams of closeness have faded into a reality you create.
The dream has become lost, in what has been left behind,
now the essence for a reality that has become the present.
Fear my Dear
Fear has become a long, lonely, dark tunnel
I walk you, with thoughts that leave me alone,
on my own as you take us back to where
I feel, as if I am no more then a substitute
for those empty hours that come to your days,
when the thoughts of a Mr. Right, a Prince Charming,
Mr Pseudo Intellectual, Mr. Elegant are insufficient
and your current pursuer, man of interest, is not available.
The man you’d respect, appreciate, give yourself to, the man you’d love, – none existent in this reality, the man you desire.
B. J. "A" 2
October 21st 2007
My Dear Moneca :
I have done many times and will again, lay my ego down upon the sacrificial alter in order for it to be the girders of a bridge upon which you may cross over the abyss, the black hole, the seas of uncertainty, the quagmire of fears created from so many negative experiences that continually creep into the mind of your days, from a past, now long passed – experiences that have created beliefs, dogmas, paradigms, archetypes, control .
This I have done – laid my ego aside, to rest – and will continue to do so, for you, because I care, because doing so is my nature, my desire to see you rise up and fly above all that has brought you down, brings you down, hold you back. This I, freely, do for you, with all my heart, soul and love, in order to support, even if I should never know, feel or reap the benefits because you have chosen to give to another .
My ego – I want to be the wings upon which you fly to freedoms light, even though you do not believe nor believe in me .