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Haiku Three

Richard Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux - LIFETIME Premium Member Richard Lamoureux - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Haiku Three which was written by poet Richard Lamoureux. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Haiku Three

Rabbit leaps forward
Rear feet leave marks on the snow
that white fur can't hide

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  1. Date: 5/21/2014 6:51:00 PM
    Let's see what's in page 7, I thought. NICE Haiku, Richard!!!! I love this Haiku & I also love Rabbits! I owned two! Their names were Hansel & Gretel!! It's true. I enjoyed your Haiku.

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 5/21/2014 6:56:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks again Ivo. I have a friend who's pet rabbit lived 17 years.
  1. Date: 1/6/2013 3:59:00 PM
    a nice picture, richard. I remember doing one about a rabbit one time!

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 1/7/2013 7:48:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Dont know why I wrote about a rabbit, maybe residual affect from Easter.
  1. Date: 1/6/2013 5:52:00 AM
    the subject is now clear [rabbit] as a free verse writer coming to haiku was hard and this write is now more objective so that's a big speak in the right direction until you get a hold of the conceptual 'hang of it' try line 1 suject/line 2 action [one action only..since it's one frozen moment in time] & line 3 the surprise bit of sensory input [line 3 is the hardest to 'get']

    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi
    Date: 1/6/2013 5:58:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    my monoku [which means only haiku in a single line] [smudged charcoal on a full page--the kettle whistles] the subject is the drawing 'shown' by the smudged charcoal- showing rather than telling is the main key to haiku bringing the reader into the moment with the poet..my line 2 would have been on a full page [3/4/5] this is a modern haiku..you need to work awhile on the traditional ones
    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi
    Date: 1/6/2013 5:54:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    a white rabbit/leaps leaving prints in the snow--a coyote howls
  1. Date: 1/6/2013 3:19:00 AM
    creates a nice visual....:)

  1. Date: 1/5/2013 10:30:00 PM
    Really a great Haiku my friend. Rollo

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 1/6/2013 12:23:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks Rollo
  1. Date: 1/5/2013 10:25:00 PM
    Great haiku Richard

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 1/6/2013 12:23:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks Carma
  1. Date: 1/5/2013 6:49:00 PM
    try for 'simple as porridge'[ Jack Kerouac, On the Road ... “A real haiku's gotta be as simple as porridge and yet make you see the real thing] if you are speaking of a rabbit say rabbit and the juxtaposed line must be a surprise, cause and affect is an easy trap to fall in but if you think is this tid-bit of info I am gifting a shift in perspective, a surprise bit of extra info? that will help you. Light & Love

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 1/6/2013 12:25:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Does this work better?
  1. Date: 1/5/2013 6:32:00 PM
    Visual puzzle...nice

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 1/6/2013 12:24:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks, I hope you still like with changes Imade