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Understepping Poem One

Richard Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux - LIFETIME Premium Member Richard Lamoureux - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Understepping Poem One which was written by poet Richard Lamoureux. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Understepping Poem One

I look in your eyes and my heart breaks.
How will I remove you from my mind?
I would Never have imagined such pain.
How will I Love with this broken heart.
You have made me this shell of a man.
I can not explain the way I feel
I know I will never love again.

Read first word first line
Second word second line
Third word third line
Forth word fourth line
Fifth word fifth line
Sixth word sixth line
Seventh word Seventh line
Nine Sylables per line including understepping line

I would like to call this form Understepping because
of the underlying message stepping down with each line..
Here we have a poem within a poem.



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  1. Date: 1/2/2013 2:08:00 PM
    I hope to have an answer for you soon. In the mean time you might check out the comprehensive list of existing poetry forms at: http://thepoetsgarret.com/list.html

    Richards Avatar Suzette Richards
    Date: 1/3/2013 10:04:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    And: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Quatrain_of_Seven_Steps
  1. Date: 12/29/2012 1:27:00 AM
    Interesting. May I make a suggestion: That the words which need to be picked in each line, be easily identified, eg capital letter/mid sentence break/an obvious pattern of a diagonal message (the latter method I explored in my acrostic poem, New Year's Wishes). If your poem runs to many lines, the reader might be frustrated by having to count the words in each line in order to get to the hidden message. Just my thoughts on the matter. Loved the poem, :-)

    Richards Avatar Suzette Richards
    Date: 1/2/2013 12:25:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    *at my fingertips :-)
    Richards Avatar Suzette Richards
    Date: 1/2/2013 12:20:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    I have asked my good friend and poet, Dr Madan Gandhi to give me some examples. I will get back to you soon. His fb pages are worth a visit. The step poems are from eastern origin, hence me seeking advice from those in the know, because I do not have all information on my fingertips.
    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 12/29/2012 8:29:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Can you give me some examples of other step poems? I don't wish to take credit for a form if it already exists. I have done a search and could come up with nothing similar. Perhaps I am looking the wrong way.
    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 12/29/2012 8:26:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Would not that defeat the purpose of a hidden message? I think searching is half the fun and six to eight lines should not be overly taxing.
    Richards Avatar Suzette Richards
    Date: 12/29/2012 1:28:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Step Poems are an ancient form of writing religious poetry.
  1. Date: 12/28/2012 5:04:00 PM
    ok, I GOT IT. Easier than I expected, and I really love the secret message of this.

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 12/28/2012 7:04:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks again Andrea, I look forward to your visits, you are so encouraging.
  1. Date: 12/27/2012 11:56:00 PM
    I love it Richard! The steps and the particular syllables- great. The idea of searching for a hidden meaning is clever because you wouldn't want to make it too obvious. And the name works too! And that it merges well with the whole poem is a huge plus. So it gets an overall great! It's wonderful to see a brilliant mind at work!

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 12/28/2012 9:37:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    You flatter me my dear. Thanks for making my day. I hope you give it a try.
  1. Date: 12/27/2012 10:13:00 AM
    tres bien!!!!

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 12/27/2012 10:53:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    thanks
  1. Date: 12/27/2012 10:04:00 AM
    the poem stand very well on it's own, seen some what a similar form before, where reading words across down, start and end, but not sure i've seen one stepped before, as i say good poem in it's own rights. the words that form the steps, could be the title of the poem?

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 12/27/2012 10:53:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    It started that way as the title but then you would lose the fun of finding the message that is imbedded.
  1. Date: 12/26/2012 9:07:00 PM
    Richard, A SAD AND DEEP FEEL... oh what love! we give and break... I like what you did here... i do not know if this is a form already.. I'd seen a poet do this one time, where they took a verse.. and then wrote a line for each word... you did yours perfect.... you should offer this to the soup...I like it... if I was a dare devil... I'd try one out myself.. maybe you should run a contest... and call it... "NINERS" lol...kidding...pd

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 12/27/2012 8:27:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks Linda I may do that.
  1. Date: 12/26/2012 11:05:00 AM
    How cool!!! I like the idea! Poems, in my opinion, are far more engaging when they have hidden messages and such. Love your creativity!!

    Currin Avatar Anne Currin
    Date: 12/27/2012 10:56:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Yes it has been splendid indeed! Still looking forward for my next term tho :)
    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 12/26/2012 11:08:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks again Anne. So nice to have your visits. Are you enjoying your time away from School? I bet it's nice to have a break.
  1. Date: 12/26/2012 7:01:00 AM
    Well written, Richard. - - Thank you for year 2012, many good poems and nice comments from you! - oxox / / Anne-Lise :)

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 12/26/2012 7:51:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks Anne Lise.
  1. Date: 12/26/2012 5:23:00 AM
    Richard this is very good and very creative the way that you play with diferent forms and possibilities with poetry. Well done - shaz

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 12/26/2012 7:49:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks Shaz, how was Christmas?
  1. Date: 12/26/2012 4:10:00 AM
    Wow, could it be free verse? It looks like it :D how are you Richard? Hopefully you are having a great Christmas yesterday :D -hug, Yanny

  1. Date: 12/25/2012 11:32:00 PM
    Hello Richard, another great write my friemd. Rollo

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 12/26/2012 7:49:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks Rollo.
  1. Date: 12/25/2012 8:14:00 PM
    Excellent write....hopefully you can put claim to yet another new form? Merry Christmas, hope it was filled with love and blessings! Hugs

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 12/26/2012 7:48:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks, I just gave it a name.
  1. Date: 12/25/2012 7:01:00 PM
    I don't know the name of a form to match it, but I do love the poem, Merry Christmas, xxx

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 12/25/2012 7:56:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks Rose.
  1. Date: 12/25/2012 6:56:00 PM
    Sorry can't help you with the form, I am no good at that. Love the way you have done it though

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 12/25/2012 7:58:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    This form came to me and I don't want to take credit if it already exists. Thanks for the positive feed back.