'Twas our Christmas Eve dinner; we all had sat down
at the table to eat. Grandma couldn’t be found!
We children were fussing; Dad rose to his feet.
shouting, “Where are you, Ma? We’re ready to eat!”
When from the next room we heard such a noise
Jenny squealed, “Santa Claus must have brought toys!”
We then heard a sound like a whimpering pup
saying, “Help. I’ve fallen and cannot get up.”
Grandpa jumped up and then rushed to the door
that led to the bathroom. There on the floor
lay our poor grandma, eyes widened in fear,
looking like she’d got run over by reindeer!
The dresser had fallen. It had her pinned down.
Grandma was wildly flailing around.
More swiftly than Rudolph, we did all we were able.
We unpinned her. Then Mom yelled, “Back to the table!”
Back to the dining room all we kids came
As our mom started to call us by name.
“Davy, Mel, Jenny, Angie, Marie. . .
Get back here now. I’m counting to three!”
Like animals not having eaten all day,
stuck in a cage without getting their way,
we sat at that table our bellies all growling,
and Davy, the baby, by now was howling.
And then finally what did appear?
Dad with our grandpa and grandma so dear!
Supported by both our grandpa and dad,
Grandma was flushed and looking quite bad.
She was dressed in a housecoat trimmed in white lace
and a big purple bruise had now formed on her face.
Mom pulled out a chair helping Grandma to sit,
and then our dad bellowed, “OK, have at it!”
Our mouths how they watered to see the large ham.
“And that isn’t all,” said Mom, “I made lamb!”
Her small pretty mouth was turned up in a grin,
“The food’s getting cold now. Children, dig in.”
Our dad how he laughed as he poured lots of gravy
onto his potatoes and kidded with Davy.
And Grandma sat smiling despite her great fall
while Grandpa gulped spiked nog, not talking at all.
With eyes that seemed bigger than my own belly,
I dished out big spoonfuls of cranberry jelly.
Mom winked and I knew I had nothing to dread.
Her pleasure was in us all being well fed.
I went straight to work at stuffing my face
when suddenly Mom said, “We didn’t say grace!”
We closed our eyes listening to our dad’s prayer.
I peeked but was met by my mom’s warning stare!
Dad finished the prayer with a hearty Amen.
Then we were all grabbing Mom’s fixings again.
When the food had all vanished and our stomachs hurt,
we heard Dad exclaim, “So what’s for dessert?”
For Francine Roberts' "Christmas Dinner With Humor" Poetry contest