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My attempt at Haiku

Yvette Lisa Ndlovu Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled My attempt at Haiku which was written by poet Yvette Lisa Ndlovu. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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My attempt at Haiku

peace before a battle taut for the trample in the breeze petals shudder
*thanks Debbie for the revision*

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  1. Date: 12/12/2012 12:52:00 PM
    I like this one, Yvette. Battle is a good key word. Food for thought. daver

  1. Date: 12/9/2012 11:19:00 AM
    try one more time decide if the subject is the battle or the flower? It's easiest to put the subject in line 1, the action in line 2 and the surprise fragment, the juxtaposed image or sensory input in line 3. Light & love

    Ndlovu Avatar Yvette Lisa Ndlovu
    Date: 12/9/2012 11:42:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    like this?: "peace before a battle taut for the trample in the breeze petals shudder" oohhh i get it now it makes more sense this way:) thanks Debbie!
  1. Date: 12/9/2012 5:48:00 AM
    very nice haiku. Enjoyed. can you do one in less than 14 syllables? Merry Christmas! hugs, Catie

    Ndlovu Avatar Yvette Lisa Ndlovu
    Date: 12/9/2012 6:33:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks! To your question: i`ve got no idea but hye its poetry you can experiment and see what you come up with :)
  1. Date: 12/8/2012 10:23:00 PM
    nice write Y'vette

  1. Date: 12/8/2012 12:09:00 PM
    Yvette Lisa, well done - Wishing you a good and restful weekend. - oxox / / Anne-Lise :)