Submit a Poem
Get Your Premium Membership
spacer
Pinterest button
Comments Inbox

 
About This Poem

The Vulgar Speaker parody

My mouth was full of soap when I was very young
I ingested lots of it.  I did not hold my tongue
I would cry "sh*t!" or "d@mn!" or "'ell!"
So, I am not at all surprised that my tongue did swell

Little Tommy Dacre was the one I blame
For 'twas he that taught me every vulgar word I claim
Hush Tom! You've corrupted me so hang your head in shame
It shall take more than soap to cleanse your filthy name

My mouth was full of soap and I was feeling morose
And Tom lay sleeping blowing bubbles out his nose
Thousands o sleepers like Joe and Jack and Ned
Also lay sleeping blowing bubbles from their bed

By and by an angel came who had a candied treat
Walked in their rooms and woke them from their troubled sleep
Gave each one some candy that refreshed and soothed their throat
It also washed away the taste that was left there by the soap

Then  came a gentile lecture with a soft and loving voice
The kids all then did promise to be much, much better boys
And grandma then told Tommy if he'd be a good little boy
That Santa Claus on Christmas would bring him some new toy


Please Login to post a comment
 
  1. Date: 11/30/2012 8:16:00 PM

    This is great, you put a smile on my face Jon, lots of fun!

    Cavanaugh Avatar Jon A Cavanaugh Date: 11/30/2012 10:18:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you Richard. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I had fun writing it.
  1. Date: 11/30/2012 8:07:00 PM

    My son William was an early curser-- had so much soap, he got to LOVE the taste. by the time was 5 yrs old, he wanted to choose the dish soap in the market--so he could have his favorite flavor,,,,kind of defeated the purpose! great look back...

    Cavanaugh Avatar Jon A Cavanaugh Date: 11/30/2012 10:10:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Oh my, what a rebel your son must have been. You know of course How I enjoy William Blake's poems. I also love to parody them. This is a parody of "The Chimney Sweeper" by William Blake.
  1. Date: 11/30/2012 5:46:00 PM

    wow! this poem brought back such a vivid memory of my mother washing my brother's mouth out with soap and me (3 years older than my brother) trying to stop her (unsuccessfully). what an awful punishment, but an excellent poem!

    Cavanaugh Avatar Jon A Cavanaugh Date: 11/30/2012 9:59:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I got my mouth washed out with soap one time as a child. Learned my lesson well. I'm so glad you enjoyed my poem. It is a parody of "The Chimney Sweeper" by William Blake.
  1. Date: 11/30/2012 5:35:00 PM

    Oooo, Jon... It happened to me when I was 4... I can still remember the humiliation (though not the taste)... it wasn't my parents, but the kindergarden 'teacher' who was so caring... I can't remember what I did, only the punishment... but seen seen through the eyes of someone so pure (the 'teacher') though, I suppose I must have been a very wicked child... Terry (Good poem)

    Cavanaugh Avatar Jon A Cavanaugh Date: 11/30/2012 9:46:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you Terry. This is a parody of "The Chimney Sweeper" by William Blake. of course you know by now how much I love to write parodies. Thank you for your comment I too remember this happening once to me.
  1. Date: 11/30/2012 11:38:00 AM

    Wow memory lane for me LOL [though I never had it done!] my aunt used to do it with green soap to her kids and guess where they got all those swear words from? yup their parents...Light & Love

    Cavanaugh Avatar Jon A Cavanaugh Date: 11/30/2012 12:15:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    LOL, thanks for sharing your memories. Loved it.