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she walked

she walked stiff legged balancing with difficulty... wearing stilettoes
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  1. Date: 11/27/2012 4:22:00 PM

    Have never understood why women would torture themselves so. Harry suggested it must be like walking on a tight rope... I agree! Love and hugs, Jack xox

  1. Date: 11/27/2012 4:02:00 PM

    Fabulous job my friend! I thoroughly enjoyed reading this delightful and fun poem this evening! Great work !!

  1. Date: 11/27/2012 2:42:00 PM

    lol, had a chuckle picturing this

  1. Date: 11/27/2012 10:43:00 AM

    Hi sara vanity I think but great senryu my friend, all the best Owen

  1. Date: 11/27/2012 8:53:00 AM

    I like it.

  1. Date: 11/27/2012 8:31:00 AM

    The primary difference between haiku & senryu is TONE, a senryu is often witty or satirical & unlike haiku, senryu do not include a kireji (cutting word), and do not generally include a kigo, or season word. Having man in the write doesn't necessarily make the 3 lines a senryu..above you have written a theme appropriate for a senryu BUT with an attempt at a cutting word [difficulty] which breaks the write into 2 parts, a common haiku format..so for me this is more haiku-like

    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 11/27/2012 8:38:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    IF you tweaked it a wee bit you could push it diffently one way or the other [you MUST stay in the present tense] [the child walks/ stiff-legged across the floor /in stilettoes] diffinetely a senryu now because its FUNNY & 1 part not 2
  1. Date: 11/27/2012 7:32:00 AM

    How do they walk on those things? Must be in pain after a few minutes..what we wont do for vanitys sake. Good one! BG

  1. Date: 11/27/2012 7:02:00 AM

    i see a tightrope here Sara, a balancing act indeed, good one ...

  1. Date: 11/27/2012 6:41:00 AM

    I would love to have a go at wearing a pair but I am sure one need to join a cicus first. great Senryu Sara xx